Monday, October 3, 2011

Mothering in Shades of Grey

One of my biggest 'ah-ha' moments as a mother has come in the last couple of months.  After struggling to be everything to everyone and keeping myself to a strict 'right vs wrong' standard, I realized something huge!  Most of life, and mothering, is not actually made up of 'right' and 'wrong' decisions.  Rather, it is more along the lines of good, better, best.
While it may seem simple 'common sense' to many, it was not for me.  I had been holding myself, and others, to these ridiculous standards that, in my head, were right vs. wrong. 
So often, when we take our kiddos to the doctor or talk with our friends or family, we hear about what we should be doing. 

"Your kids should get A, B, and C vaccine at this visit"
"They shouldn't be going to pre-school this young, they should be home with mom."
"He should be talking by now."

With every should or shouldn't that got thrown my way, the pressure to make the right decision became heavier and heavier.  Over time, I started to see things that I didn't actually believe were right or wrong but didn't really know what to do with it.  Without knowing about shades of grey, I was running myself into the ground. 

I knew something had to change and I knew that it had to be me.  With every day, I started challenging more things that I had thought were solidified truths.  From motherhood, to faith, to cooking, to relationships, and beyond.  I needed to do what worked for me and my family, as long as they were done with a genuine heart.

So, while trading bathtime for a baby wipe wipe-down isn't the best, its still just fine.  And while making a homemade meal every night is awesome, macaroni and cheese works too.  And guess what, if nursing for a year doesn't happen, I'm still a great mother who is not short changing her child! 

Letting go of all of these expectations gave me so much freedom as a woman.  Life is full of choices and most of the time its not black and white, rather, it's about finding YOUR shade of grey.

1 comment:

  1. I think this is my favorite one yet! Good work, mama.


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