Monday, October 24, 2011

The Circle of Marriage

  I hope ya'll have gotten your week off to a great start and aren't too worn out...yet.
I'm excited for today because this is my first 'The Common Sense Wife' post.  From here on out, Tuesdays will become all about marriage, being a wife, and all the craziness that goes along with it.  Please feel free to comment openly.  I love to hear what other people have to say and tricks (or failures) that have (or have not) worked for them.

So, onto today's post.  I approach this post with excitement but reservation.  It speaks to the more 'intimate' part of a marriage but is, without doubt, one of the biggest lessons I use in my marriage.  So, here it goes.

When I was a senior in high school, I was given the opportunity to go on a retreat about the psychology of men and women, particularly within marriage.  Over the course of the weekend, we learned about what makes women and men tick, how we are different, and how to mesh it all together.  It was one of the most interesting weekends I have ever experienced. 

With all of the information that was thrown my way, the lesson that has stuck with me is this:

Women connect to their husbands through communication.  Men connect to their wives through the physical.  When one stops, the other stops.  It is the circle of marriage.

So, basically, as a woman, I need my husband to take time to sit and talk to me and hear the things that are going on inside my head and heart.  I need him to show that he cares and that he is hearing me.

At the same time, he needs me to show an interest in the physcial aspect of our marriage on a regular basis.  He needs to feel desired and he needs that intimate time together.

If I stop giving him that part of me, he will stop talking.  If he stops talking, I will, more than likely, stop giving him that intimate time.

Once I was married, I found this statement to be absolutely true.  I was amazed at the simplicity of the psychology.  While there are definitely other factors in a marriage, in its most basic form, the simple need and acknowledgment of the need for connection between a husband and wife is enormous.  What is even bigger, is the acknowledgement of how each of us attain that connection.  HUGE!

So, next time you and your spouse are at a standstill, butting heads of the stupidest of things, take a step back and see where the breakdown is located.  Re-establishing that connection and trust will usually get you back on the same page. 

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