Wednesday, November 9, 2011

What's the Big Deal?

When I began announcing my second pregnancy, my husband and I were SHOCKED by the amount of feedback we got.  80% of the comments were along the lines of,

"Wow, that was fast!  Don't you know where babies come from?"
"You're brave!"
I was shocked.  There I was, a happy-go-lucky mother to one 6 month old baby and people were calling me brave for having another one???  I didn't get it.

THEN, when we became pregnant with mini-C just 9 months after having little-C, the reaction was even GREATER!  I somewhat expected the reaction this time but a few of the reactions still stung.  At one point, after having mini-C, I took all three children to the grocery store.  They were behaving perfectly and a random man had the nerve to come have this conversation with me.

Him: Are they ALL yours?
Me: They sure are!
Him: Well, you sure have your hands full!
Me: Oh, we have fun with it!
Him: Ya'll should really look into cable TV!
Me: (Completely clueless) We already have cable TV.
Him: Then change the channel!  You're obviously bored!

I. Was. Stunned.

What do you say to something like that?

This whole deal with children just got me thinking.  As the Duggars announce the pregnancy of their 20th child, I can't help but feel bad for them in the backlash that will head their way.  Why do people care so much?  How does somebody else having children affect you?

I'll say this, I understand if I am supporting my children through tax dollars...I get that.  But, I'm not and they are not.  I don't think people can really argue with the fact that the Duggar kids are some of the most well-behaved children out there.  Whether they have been too sheltered is something that they will have to deal with...not me or you.

 As mothers, we all have those overwhelming moments when we look at our husbands and say, 'you touch me; you die!'  And you know what?  Thats okay!  But, I think the most of us would be devestated if we were unable to have any more children, whether we were planning to or not.  I try and keep the flip side in my head regularly so I remember to value my fertility.  It is not something that should be used to complete a 'dream family' casting list.  Rather, these are individual little people who need me in order to fulfill their purpose just as I need them to fulfill mine.

I do not know how many children we will have.  If all goes as we would have it, there will be more.  How many?  We'll have to wait and see.  We'll take it one pregnancy at a time.

For now, I just need to come up with a witty response for all of these crazy people!  Any thoughts?


  1. So proud of you for posting this. I know how hard and wild it can be (to deal with the comments, even sometimes from friends and family!)

    Ultimately though, when I look at you I see someone who TRUSTS GOD. That's what it comes down to.

    I am so thankful for your friendship. I look up to you so much!

  2. A response that I heard the other day and I love it... "Yes, isn't it great. Another soul who will get to enjoy the love of God for all eternity." Who can argue with that?

  3. I wish my responses were as grace-filled as Kristi's, but ..... they're not! I get "don't you know where they come from?" comment from one family member in particular. My favorite response to such a bold and awkward comment is....."Yes we do! And we enjoy it a lot so we'll probably have more soon!" No one expects a bold and awkward answer like that so they usually quit asking the bold and awkward question. :)

  4. Allison, I LOVE the shock and awe of your response! I might have to throw it out there one time!

  5. When they ask "are those all yours?" Say: "Well I share them with my husband." :)


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