What's the Big Deal?

When I began announcing my second pregnancy, my husband and I were SHOCKED by the amount of feedback we got.  80% of the comments were along the lines of,

"Wow, that was fast!  Don't you know where babies come from?"

or

"You're brave!"

I was shocked.  There I was, a happy-go-lucky mother to one 6 month old baby and people were calling me brave for having another one???  I didn't get it.

THEN, when we became pregnant with mini-C just 9 months after having little-C, the reaction was even GREATER!  I somewhat expected the reaction this time but a few of the reactions still stung.  At one point, after having mini-C, I took all three children to the grocery store.  They were behaving perfectly and a random man had the nerve to come have this conversation with me.

Him: Are they ALL yours?

Me: They sure are!

Him: Well, you sure have your hands full!

Me: Oh, we have fun with it!

(Pause) 

Him: Ya'll should really look into cable TV!

Me: (Completely clueless) We already have cable TV.

Him: Then change the channel!  You're obviously bored!

I. Was. Stunned.

What do you say to something like that?

This whole deal with children just got me thinking.  As the Duggars announce the pregnancy of their 20th child, I can't help but feel bad for them in the backlash that will head their way.  Why do people care so much?  How does somebody else having children affect you?

I'll say this, I understand if I am supporting my children through tax dollars...I get that.  But, I'm not and they are not.  I don't think people can really argue with the fact that the Duggar kids are some of the most well-behaved children out there.  Whether they have been too sheltered is something that they will have to deal with...not me or you.

 As mothers, we all have those overwhelming moments when we look at our husbands and say, 'you touch me; you die!'  And you know what?  Thats okay!  But, I think the most of us would be devestated if we were unable to have any more children, whether we were planning to or not.  I try and keep the flip side in my head regularly so I remember to value my fertility.  It is not something that should be used to complete a 'dream family' casting list.  Rather, these are individual little people who need me in order to fulfill their purpose just as I need them to fulfill mine.

I do not know how many children we will have.  If all goes as we would have it, there will be more.  How many?  We'll have to wait and see.  We'll take it one pregnancy at a time.

For now, I just need to come up with a witty response for all of these crazy people!  Any thoughts?

Teaching Enthusiasm

I think most people, especially my husband, are generally shocked by the emphasis that I put on making sure incoming guests recieve an enthusiastic welcoming, birthday's always have balloons and signs, and general tone of voice in conversation. For some reason, these are things that I have always been very adamant about.

While I know my children will gain some of these qualities by my example, I also know the responsibility I have to teach them about enthusiasm. I am currently reading TLC's The Duggars 2nd book. In both of their books, they have had some incredible insights. One of my favorites was this one:  

"We teach them [our children] to overcome shyness by constantly reminding them of another foundation of our faith: Jesus' instruction to treat others the way you would want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). To us, it's not cute when our little ones turn away when someone speaks to them, or hide their faces in Mama's skirt, or stare back, wide-eyed and worldess; we believe that behavior is disrespectful of the other person. In contrast, eye contact shows repect; it tells the other person, You're important; You're special. 

Turning away means the child fails to acknowledge the other person, and it also nurtures in the child a self-centered focus, something we want each one to learn to overcome as he or she matures."

This exerpt explains my thoughts pefectly! It's about respect. It's about showing other people that they are worth your time and energy to put forth a little bit of effort on their behalf.

So, just know, that if you spend a birthday with us, you will probably have balloons, a sign, and cake. If you come to visit we will either be waiting in the airport, in the driveway, and possibly even holding signs. If you call, we will answer with "umph" so you know that we are excited to hear from you. And if you speak to us, we will be sure to look you in the eye and answer you. We want you to know that you are important to us and that we appreciate the relationship that we have.