The New and Improved Laundry Room

Last weekend, while I was out of town, my hubby was secretly building me a whole new laundry room organizing system. 

With the kiddos growing, their clothes also grow.  I was running out of space in my old organizing system and my laundry room was being over-run by clothes.

Old Laundry Room

We had talked about building something but, I have to be honest, what I had envisioned in my head was not a pretty picture.  Because of this, I was so happy that I was not around when he built it (and I'm sure he was equally relieved). 

When the kids excitedly brought me in and opened the doors, I was SHOCKED!  It was perfect, awesome, amazing, huge, and every other great word!

It has taken me about a week to go through everybody's clothes and re-organize everything but I'm officially done and I. LOVE. IT!!!

So, I am so excited to share my NEW LAUNDRY ROOM!

There are 20 HUGE cubbies that can fit clothes for my growing children plus more!

Each cubby is labeled with things such as:

Little P/Little C/Mini C Play Clothes

Little P/Little C/Mini C Outfits

Special Occasions

Seasonal

IRON ME!

Hiking

I am so grateful to be married to a man who is always trying to make my life easier!

The REST of the Story...

Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV

 Before we got engaged, we knew that P was up for new military orders.  This meant that he could either get out of the Navy or we could move after his next deployment.  It wasn't a difficult decision for him to stay in, the difficult decision was where to move. 

Within hours of looking at our list of options, we had pretty much made up our mind.  We were ready for adventure and we wanted the challenge...

We were moving to NAPLES, ITALY!

Visiting P in Japan

Before we got to Italy, though, we had to handle yet another deployment.  So, five weeks after being married, I watched as P's plane took him away from me...again.  It seemed like it was never ending.  Were we EVER going to be together???

Upon his return, we had so much to look forward to!  Finally, we would get to 'be married', we were moving to Italy, and we were going to travel!  As excited as we were about our adventure, our excitement turned to great fear when we found out that I was pregnant just two weeks after his return.  Now, THAT was not in the plan.

We wanted kids.  We actually wanted a large family.  We had just planned to wait about a year before moving on to kids.  Immediately, all of my excitement about moving was GONE.  All I could think about was having a baby without any family and friends.  I didn't want to leave them.  I cried and cried but eventually, after getting reassurance from my mom that she would be there, I finally went back to looking forward to the experiences that were to come.

Little did we know that this was the first of many growing pains.  God wanted us to realize our potential and we had just given Him PRIME opportunity to do that.

We moved to Naples in December of 2007.  On April 7, 2008, P and I became parents.  My mom lived up to her word...she was there.  Once my mom left, just 5 days after Little P's birth, it was time to buckle down.  This wasn't a dream, this wasn't going to change, we could either take advantage of the opportunity to live overseas or it would be a waste of our time.

It didn't take long for us to realize that we were learning priceless lessons.  Being so far from family and friends, we could only depend on each other.  We didn't have parents to save us when we were tired or we could run to when we weren't seeing eye to eye.  We had to figure it out between the two of us.  We had to learn how to effectively communicate, how to address our own shortcomings for the greater good of our marriage, and how to push ourselves beyond our comfort levels.  We were also given the opportunity to really figure out what we wanted for OUR family.  We couldn't come back to the States for Holidays so they were what we made them.  It really made us get down to business and see what traditions were really important to us and how we could put them together for our family. 

Moreover, we were given the opportunity to really figure out the simplest way to run our day to day life as parents.  We were not going to stop traveling or exploring, we just needed to figure out how to do with with babies. 

About to get on the airplane to visit family in the States

Oh yes, I forgot to mention, after having my wisdom teeth out when Little P was six months old, I got pregnant with Little C.  A word to the wise, narcotics really mess with your cycle (and if you are on birth control, they mess with that too).  So, now we had two kids...both 15 months and under.

As a wife and mother, I was pushed harder than I ever had been.  P was working 14 hour days and had a rotating shift.  This left me to handle everything and I am so thankful it did.  In those three years I realized how capable I am.  A family of four traveling back to the states for 3 weeks...NO PROBLEM!  Your bringing the new guys home for dinner in two hours...I've got it!  We want to go to Greece...I'll plan it!  The more I embraced my vocation as a wife and mother, the more grateful I was for my husband.  Because he was working so hard, we were getting to do all of these things but he was also giving me the opportunity to prove to myself that I could handle it.  I was capable. 

By the end of our time in Italy, we were honestly able to say that we were given the opportunity of a lifetime.  It taught us how to be a team, how to 'date', and how capable we are.  It pinpointed those places where, instead of helping each other, we were enabling each other.  It showed us where we needed to toughen up and where we needed to lighten up.  It didn't allow us to wallow in fear...we had to face it.

Greece February 2010

In three short years of marriage, we walked away with 15 years worth of lessons and three beautiful children (oh, did I forget to mention that I was pregnant AGAIN when we moved back to the States?  Can you say fertile mertile???  Yup, that's me!  And I wouldn't have it any other way.)

Upon arrival back in the States, P got out of the Navy and we began our lives here in Central Virginia...as civilians...who deploy...so maybe not REALLY civilians but you get it. 

It is because of our time in Italy that we are where we are.  It was a priceless experience that I recommend to ANYBODY who has the opportunity!  Push yourself.  Go out of your comfort zone.  Scare yourself.  It will worth it beyond measure in the end.

And that, my friends, is our story.

Happily Ever After...

If you haven't read Part I , Part II, or Part III, check it out before reading this post. Nobody like a spoiled ending!

When I was a little girl, I never wanted to be a doctor, banker, or ballerina.  My dream was clear.  At a very young age, I knew that I wanted to be a wife and mother (of 12 to be exact).  As crazy as it sounds, I daydreamed about driving a 15 passenger van, doing the laundry, and having dinner on the table when my husband came home from work.  I have no idea where that dream came from but it is clearly written on my heart.

When P and I met all those years ago, I had found the other piece of my puzzle.  Whether you call it a gut feeling, inspiration of the Holy Spirit, or just plain intuition, I knew he was the one.   I had fought for his heart since the day we met. I refused to settle for anything less than who I knew he was created to be and I refused to let myself by tarnished by fear, temptations, and outside pressures. 

When he proposed, it was like hitting the last mile of a marathon. We were almost there. Our forever was about to begin.  We had no idea where this life was going to take us but we knew that we were up for the adventure as long as we were together.

When our big day came, we were ready.  Besides the dress, the party, and our loved ones, we were ready to be married.  We stood in awe that this was our reality.  How is it possible for two teenagers, from opposite parts of the country, to meet, keep in touch, and then eventually get married.  It was crazy! 

We had so much fun at our wedding!  We laughed, we cried, we danced, and enjoyed the company of our family and friends.  The knowledge that the dating, the distance, the phone calls, and the traveling were over was almost surreal.  At the end of the day, I was going to get in the car with P and we were going to fly out TOGETHER. 

Our happily ever after had come true.  We had a plan.  Little did we know that in the first year of our marriage we'd have a deployment, a pregnancy, and a move to Naples, Italy...not exactly what one would call the 'honeymoon' stage.

The Homecoming

About 2 months ago, a friend of mine suggested that I hire a photographer to capture P's homecoming.  I was a little standoffish at first but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that these were pictures that we would probably treasure forever and I'd rather be present during these moments rather than trying to take pictures.  So, the decision was made and now I have pictures to show you!  :-)

The days leading up to P's homecoming were similar to the days leading up to his leaving.  They were full of anxieties, excitements, nerves, LONG lists of things to do, and many errands.  It was a surreal feeling preparing for something that seemed like it would never happen.  I was nervous about the kids response to their dad, the adjustment back to being a family, and the adjustment back to being a team and a wife.  Life was about to flip upside down...AGAIN.

I have to say, I feel like I did a good job during those days.  I tried to get my list of things to do done during nap times/pre-school/etc. and have fun things ready for us to do together.  I spent a good bit of time sitting with Little P, my sensitive little boy, looking at pictures of other daddy's coming home just so he would know that it would be okay if he laughed, cried, was shy, etc.  He has a tendency to get anxious and then melt down so I wanted to alleviate that as much as possible.

The day before, we spent some time making our signs and talking about how the next morning would go.  Once they went to bed, I adjusted their 'Countdown to Daddy' and their 'Kisses from Daddy' Jar so they had other points of excitement once they woke up.

It was set, we were all ready!  After good nights sleep, it was game time!  His flight was landing around 9:45am so I had to hustle.  I had a babysitter come over so I had a second set of hands and, oh my goodness, that was the best $20 I've ever spent!  She was such a help and got the kids fed, bathed, and dressed.  I was also able to get dressed without toddlers at my toes. 

And then, it was time.  It was 8:45, time to go! 

Once I started driving, that's when it hit me.  We were really doing this.  I fought tears the whole way.  I kept trying to talk and laugh with the kids but that lump in my throat just wouldn't go away.  Once we got there, I got everybody inside and this is what happened:

It was in this moment that Catherine looked at me and said, "MOMMY, I need to go potty!!!"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!  So off we ran...to the BOYS bathroom.  Hey, it was the closest one and we were in a hurry!

 

I will never forget the first time I spotted him...it was SURREAL!

 

A little unsure of the situation, Little C ran back to me just to check in.

Mini-C finally seeing that man from the computer...

I finally got my kiss...

 

Daddy showing little C that he still had the pocket photo book

we made for him before he left.

I couldn't have asked for a better homecoming.  It was crazy to walk out to the car and sit in the passenger seat.  We were done, it was over.  Our daddy is home!

Preparing for Deployment

Over the last several months, many people have stated that they 'couldn't even imagine' doing what we've done.  I'll start from the very beginning and move forward throughout this week.  I can only speak for myself but, in general, I think most of my words will apply to the majority of the military/deploying world. 

My husband, who is now a civilian defense contractor, feels a calling to defend his country. He takes pride in what he does and he believes in the founding premise of what it means to be an American. He is willing to defend that premise to those who attack it. 

When I married my husband, I agreed to support and encourage him in his vocation. Just like all military and deploying defense contractor families, this vocation is not one that is carried by just one. It is carried by all. But it is carried with such pride that the load is bearable.  We are working for a cause, something that we believe in.

So, when our spouses tell us that there is a deployment on the horizon, we all do the same thing...we start preparing.  There is no time to pity ourselves, there is no time to wonder how we are going to do it...we just know that it has to be done so we'll do it. 

We found out about P's deploy date about 3 months prior.  I knew that it was on the horizon but just didn't know WHEN it was going to be.  So, when we finally got the date, I, 4 weeks postpartum, knew that the first thing that we needed to handle was to get Mini-C into a routine.  There was no way that I would be able to handle 3 kids under 3 if I had a baby who was completely unpredictable.  After that, we just started making lists. 

'Things to get done' lists

'Things to buy' lists

'People to contact' lists

'Stuff to research' lists

You name it, we had a list for it.  We organized and re-organized the whole house.  I had my 'handy-woman' book out with the tool kit P had prepared for me.  Both cars were checked out and ready to go.  Our Will was in the safe.  We had everything ready and organized.

For the kids, I made a countdown calendar, a 'kisses from daddy' jar, P recorded a book a week on video, and he took the kids to Build-A-Bear to make their 'daddy bears' (a bear with a recording in the paw from daddy).

Besides all of the physical preparations, I was also mentally and emotionally preparing myself. I had to be in a state where failure was not an option. I had to have my game face on and be ready to take on the challenge.  I couldn't allow those moments of doubt creep into my head because doubt wasn't going to get me anywhere.  Even more, I had to be in enough control that my husband was not going to worry about us.  I have to say, that was a heavy load to carry.

I had my nights of waking up in sheer panic and my absolute emotional breaks.  I had my times of falling into my husbands arms crying because I just didn't want to do this.  At one point, I BEGGED him to get a different job.  I thought all of the same things that everybody around me thought, I just couldn't dwell on them.

So there we were, prepared as we were ever going to be.  What people didn't see were the tears that flowed when I actually thought about what we were embarking on.  What they didn't see was the fear that was trying to take over my body.  What they didn't see was the paralyzing fear that something could happen to my husband.

But, May 6th came and we didn't shed a tear.  I was ready to stand by my husbands side as he set off to do what he was called to do.  We were doing this for a cause, right?

Post Deployment Weekends are the BEST!

Happy Weekend!  I hope ya'll have a great one and enjoy spending time with your friends and family!

My first giveaway ends tomorrow at noon so make sure to register!  There are SIX different options for entry!

Thank you again for all of your love and support over the last few days.  I have LOVED reading all of your messages and will respond as soon as I can!

Make sure to check back on Monday for more 'behind the scenes' stories on the deployment and subsequent homecoming.  There may even be a guest post from my husband...:-). 

Unless I have some incredible inspiration to write, I'll see you on Monday.  I'm off to spend more time with my family...and sleep!

HE'S HOME!!!!!



The Next Day...

It is currently 5:33AM and my brain is running wild trying to comprehend the last few days.  The kids are sleeping, my husband is finally in his own bed, the house is dark, and here I sit in my chair typing my heart out.

I am completely humbled by the words of my friends, family, followers, but most of all, my sister-in-law.  Reading her post allowed me to feel, for the first time, the feat that I have conquered.  You see, when you are faced with a deployment, out of survival, you have to stand up and act like it's no big deal.  It's just life.  If you bend to your fears, you won't make it.  What you are doing is so unnatural it's hard to ignore.  So, since May 6th, I chugged along, doing what I needed to do.  People would comment but I couldn't let myself hear it.  On Wednesday  night, I heard it and I appreciated it (and yes, I cried). 

I feel like I should have a great cry just to signify the end.  We're finished.  He's home.  Yesterday, I sat on the couch with my husband fighting that 'tough' facade.   How do you turn it off?  How do I go back to being the protected vs. the protector?  For the last 6 1/2 months, I have been the one to handle EVERYTHING.  I know the kids quirks, their fears, their likes.  I've set the alarm every night knowing that if anything happened in the night, I'd handle it.  All of the sudden, that's over.  I can relax...but I can't.

My shoulders are still tight.  My brain still running rampant.  I feel like I have a new life to learn.  None of us will ever be the same as we were before he left because we grew and experienced so much.  How do I find the 'new normal'?

More than anything, I recognize my husband grasping to gain control.  Not in a powerful way, but as a dad, as a husband, as a protector.  He doesn't know how the potty works.  He doesn't know our night time routine.  He doesn't even know the words of our night prayers.  Last night, as he tried to take over baths, he finally looked at me as said, "I don't know how this works.  What do you do next?"  My heart hurt as I saw his stressed eyes, trying to do what was normal but not even knowing what that looked like.

So, here I sit, the day about to start, preparing myself for change but hoping for normalcy.  With time, I'm sure these kinks will be worked out and we'll find our rhythm but for now, I am so thankful to be able to hug my husband and have someone to hold the kids other hand when we say the blessing at the dinner table.

He's Home!!!

This day has been absolutely surreal.

I'll write our complete homecoming story when I get our professional pictures but it has been awesome.  All of my fears about the kids being hesitant vanished as they ran to their daddy.  Mini C even took her first steps!!!

It really was an awesome day that has ranged in emotion.  I'm glad its behind us and that we get to adjust back into life as a family.

The next week will be dedicated to deployment/homecoming stuff.  I'll do my best to give you a 'behind the scenes' of what life has been like leading up to today.

Stay tuned for picture overload!

Intermission...

Please pardon the interruption of your normal programming...

....but today is a CRAZY day!

I assure you that tomorrow it will be quite the finale.  Make sure to check back and see what I have in store!

In the place of a normal post, I leave you with this:



A Real Love Story...

If you are joining me for your first Common Sense Wife post, make sure to read Part I and Part II of my story.  It's pretty awesome (in my humble opinion...haha).

I still remember it vividly, my mom and I were in Washington D.C. on a college visit. 

That was where I learned to always ask for a corner hotel room...they are always bigger!  :-)

We had driven 2 hours outside of the city to check out the prospective school.  Upon arrival, I immediately knew that it wasn't right.  We didn't even get out of the car.  I asked my mom to turn around and take us back to the city.  It was there, at the hotel, that I got the phone call.

He was coming.

I jumped around our corner hotel room like a 13 year old at a backstreet boys concert!  The excitement that I experienced was unlike anything I had ever felt.  This was it.  It was finally happening!!!

Although my mom and I were close, the year had been a tough one for both of us.  She knew about P but we had never really talked about how important he was to me.  She was a little standoffish at the thought of him, a 20 year old Navy Sailor, flying in to take her only daughter to prom.  It seemed odd.  I did my best to share my excitement but knew that screaming,

"I'm going to marry this boy!!!"

might not go over well.  So, I kept my excitement contained to prom.  My parents were troopers because, at 17 years old, they allowed me to explore this relationship.  Well, April came, he flew in, and the connection was IMMEDIATE.  (Keep in mind this was only the second time we'd seen each other since meeting each other at 13 years old.)  I was in heaven. 

We got dressed up, took pictures, and off we drove in my mom's Cadillac (we're cool like that) to my prom.  Honestly, I don't remember a whole lot about prom besides thinking that I wished we would have just gone out to a nice dinner alone and realizing that this boy, the love of my life, could. NOT. dance!!!

Well, the weekend came to an end and it was at the airport that we finally discussed it.  We were officially boyfriend/girlfriend!  That determination was also followed up with something along the lines of, 'and we'll get married in a couple of years.'

Over the course of the next two years, we spent our time flying back and forth between Georgia and California and getting through a 7 month deployment.  Although my parents were not against my relationship, they couldn't quite grasp it.  When asked about it, the only way I could explain our relationship was,

"My entire life I prayed to have a friend who loved me as much as I loved them.  For someone who was just as excited to have me as I was to have them.  He does and we have so much fun.  He's my best friend."

Then, in May 2006, it happened.  On California's beautiful coast, he got down on a knee and asked me to be his wife.  As much as I loved him in that moment, I had no clue that my love would grow exponentially and of the adventure that we were about to embark on...

SHOPPING ALERT!

My mom just clued me in to a one day sale tomorrow, November 11th, at Whole Foods!

I was checking prices on free-range, no antibiotics whole chickens the other day and I can tell you that it was a lot more than this!

There is a 10 chicken limit so make plans to get there early!

Happy Saving!

A Budding Friendship

Make sure you've read Part I of my husband and I's story.

If you already have, lets keep going.

After P and I met on October 29th, 1999, something inside of me was forever changed.  At the young age of 13, I knew he was the one God had planned for me.  Now, I had years of figuring out how to make it work and protecting both of our hearts enough to still see that when we were of age.

It all started so simply.  His first e-mail to me was an e-card using words like 'Howdy and ya'll' and a giant picture of a cowgirl.  I guess he was intriqued by the fact that I was from Georgia?  From that day on, our friendship just grew.  We had the same sense of humor and strange draw to each other.  We e-mailed for a few months before somehow connecting on the phone.  By this time, I had found out that he had just started 'dating' a girl.  At the time, I was so disappointed but looking back now, I am so thankful for their relationship.  Their parents were so good about teaching them the proper way to approach dating.  It was the truest definition of 'courting' I have ever watched.

Over the course of the next few years, we kept talking and talking and talking.  He became my best buddy.  I remember hanging up with him one day and thinking,

"I know why I love Paul so much!  He always makes me belly laugh!" 

We had so much fun!

This is from his visit.

Then, during the summer before my 10th grade year, I decided to attend a boarding school.  Before I left, I asked my mom and dad if he could come down to Georgia and visit.  It must have been nothing short of divine intervention, because at 15 and 17 years old, both of our parents agreed.  He rode a bus...for 25 hours just to see ME.  

That week, I recieved my first kiss.

At the movie theater watching 'America's Sweetheart's during the helicopter scene.  Not that I remember or anything.

As cheesy as this sounds, I remember being so relieved that he had gotten MY first kiss.  I didn't want it to go to just anybody...

After a few days, I got kind of tired of him because he kept trying to kiss me!  Not in any weird way but I had never even kissed a boy and I just wasn't there yet.  Anyways, by the end of his visit, I was ready for him to go and so was he (I think his mom still might hold a little grudge for that one...haha). 

I left for my boarding school, calling him every so often, but because of the harbored frustration, we kind of went our seperate ways for a bit.  After a few months, I decided to come home and go back to my normal high school.  Somewhere in there, we got back in touch, and our friendship started back up where it left off...just good buddies.

At this point, he was dating a new girl...that I wasn't particularly fond of.  I knew she threatened my goal of protecting his heart and I wasn't going to stand for it.  Over the course of the next few years, while they dated, I made sure to stay as close as possible.  I wasn't going to let this girl have influence over the man that I knew he was. 

Unfortuantely, he did start making some less than ideal decisions...nothing big, but not what I could stand by and watch, so I let him go.  I remember writing him an e-mail saying, 

"If you want me, you have to work for me.  Please don't contact me anymore, your decisions are tearing me apart.  If you decide to grow up and be the man that I know you are, please let me know." 

To this day, that was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I lost my best friend.  I thought he was gone forever.  BUT, much to my surprise, at the end of his Navy boot camp I received an phone call.

"Hi Jeanne.  It's P.  I'm calling you back."

His deep, comforting voice gave me such relief.  It was OVER.  I quickly got off the other line and we began to catch up.  Before getting off the phone, I layed it all out there for him.  I told him that I loved him and I couldn't watch him make decisions that we BOTH knew were not good.  If he wanted me as a friend, he had to be who I knew that he was.  I wasn't going to let him settle for what was comfortable.  We agreed and we were back on track.  PHEW!

At that point, I was a junior in high school.  I had dated a few boys, here and there, but nothing serious.  Nobody could make me laugh like he could.

Although he was still dating his girlfriend, he started saying things that just didn't line up.  For instance, I told him that he would be one of my future kids' Godfather.  He got VERY upset with me and told me that he 'better be the father'.  WHAT!?!?!

Prom

He had a girlfriend!  He was so upset about this conversation that he even called his mother.  Whatever.

Well, my senior year was a particularly rough year.  By the time prom came around, I really wasn't interested in going solo.  One night, I kind of dropped a hint that I wanted him to go with me but it ended there.  About a week later, he called me to say that he and girlfriend had broken up and he was coming for prom.

I can't even tell you the excitement that ran through my veins!  I knew that it was the start of something good...

How It All Began...

As most of you know, Saturday was the 12 year mark from the day I met my husband, P.  Unlike most people, we didn't meet at school, work, or through friends.  Our story is beyond unique.  It's actually kind of crazy.  I often find myself thinking about how crazy it is that we ever even met.  If it weren't for that split second on October 29, 1999, I don't think we would have ever had the opportunity again.

Thanks to my incredibly (verging on obnoxious) outgoing 13 year old personality, P and I met one weekend at the Youth and Family Encounter (a church conference) in Atlanta.  I had convinced my girlfriends to skip a talk so we could just roam (and secretly search for boys).  After walking for a while, we were about to cave in and just go into the youth track.  Thats when I spotted them.  A group of boys around our age.  Being that I was the 'outgoing' one, I had no problem walking up to them.  Instead of walking up and introducing myself like a normal human being, for some reason I thought it would be cool to walk up and say,

"Hi!  My name is Jeanne.  I'm weird and abnormal, but it a good way!"

WHAT!?!?!?

 

I've never actually admitted that I said that but there it is...on paper!  To this day, that is still one of those things I am completely embarrassed about. 

ANYWAYS, it must have worked because the boys walked over with me and met my friends.  I remember 3 boys (Ed, John, and P).  They told us that they were from New England (Mass. and New Hampshire) and that they had driven down on a bus with a boys group.  They then proceeded to tell us that, the night before, they had gotten kicked out of a Marriott for dropping a bouncy ball from the top floor into the atrium.  I guess they wanted to see how far up it would bounce.  Instead of getting moved to some crappy hotel, are you ready for this?, their group leader moved them to the RITZ CARLTON in downtown Atlanta.

Just an FYI: the cheapest room costs around $300 a night...and they were staying for 5!

For the next two days, we (or maybe just I) spent my time hanging around these boys.  We sat next to them at the talks, during Mass, and we even got permission from our parents to walk across the street for lunch!  That lunch marked the end of the weekend. 

As my friends and I were piling in the backseat of my parents car, on halloween afternoon, we exchanged e-mail addresses.  I remember looking down at the paper and seeing P's address: madlyskilled@-----.com.  REALLY?  How dumb!

Within minutes of getting home, before we dressed up as 'Army Chicks', I made sure to hop on my e-mail and shoot him an e-mail.  That night, at 13 years old, I told my best friend, Toni, that I had this weird feeling that I was going to marry that boy.  We giggled about it and then ran off to enjoy our last halloween trick-or-treating.

So, there you have it.  Embarrassing details and all.  Next week I'll continue the crazy story that somehow leads to today...

One Girl, One Boy...

On this day, 12 years ago, I met the boy who would become my husband! 

This picture was taken two years after we met.

I was a 13 year old, boy crazy, attention seeking Georgia girl and he was a 15 year old, cool, about to get his drivers license, New Hampshire boy.  We met by complete chance but that chance ended up to be the greatest life changers I've had.  When we got married, 7 years later, we had never lived in the same city, but he was my absolute best friend!

Its funny how the best things in life are the ones that are not planned or organized, rather they happen just because they are supposed to happen.

The Circle of Marriage

  I hope ya'll have gotten your week off to a great start and aren't too worn out...yet.

I'm excited for today because this is my first 'The Common Sense Wife' post.  From here on out, Tuesdays will become all about marriage, being a wife, and all the craziness that goes along with it.  Please feel free to comment openly.  I love to hear what other people have to say and tricks (or failures) that have (or have not) worked for them.

So, onto today's post.  I approach this post with excitement but reservation.  It speaks to the more 'intimate' part of a marriage but is, without doubt, one of the biggest lessons I use in my marriage.  So, here it goes.

When I was a senior in high school, I was given the opportunity to go on a retreat about the psychology of men and women, particularly within marriage.  Over the course of the weekend, we learned about what makes women and men tick, how we are different, and how to mesh it all together.  It was one of the most interesting weekends I have ever experienced. 

With all of the information that was thrown my way, the lesson that has stuck with me is this:

Women connect to their husbands through communication.  Men connect to their wives through the physical.  When one stops, the other stops.  It is the circle of marriage.

So, basically, as a woman, I need my husband to take time to sit and talk to me and hear the things that are going on inside my head and heart.  I need him to show that he cares and that he is hearing me.

At the same time, he needs me to show an interest in the physcial aspect of our marriage on a regular basis.  He needs to feel desired and he needs that intimate time together.

If I stop giving him that part of me, he will stop talking.  If he stops talking, I will, more than likely, stop giving him that intimate time.

Once I was married, I found this statement to be absolutely true.  I was amazed at the simplicity of the psychology.  While there are definitely other factors in a marriage, in its most basic form, the simple need and acknowledgment of the need for connection between a husband and wife is enormous.  What is even bigger, is the acknowledgement of how each of us attain that connection.  HUGE!

So, next time you and your spouse are at a standstill, butting heads of the stupidest of things, take a step back and see where the breakdown is located.  Re-establishing that connection and trust will usually get you back on the same page. 

Buying Boy Gifts Can Be So Difficult!

This weekend, I was in Atlanta celebrating my Dad's 60th Birthday!  It was a fantastic weekend full of family, friends, and surprises!  It's always nice to take a break from the routine and refresh our hearts and minds.

Leading up to the weekend, I was trying to figure out what to get for my dad.  He isn't a man who needs a whole heck of a lot.  It got me thinking that every year, I always struggle with buying gifts for my brothers and dad.  Men aren't like women, unless they have a hobby or specific requests, you can't just buy them clothes or jewelry. 

Over the years, I have developed my list of 'Go-To' Boy gifts.  Unfortunately, my list has run a little dry this year as all of my brothers and brother-in-law's have already received everything on this list so I need some more suggestions!  Even though I am lacking new and creative gifts, I wanted to share this list with you!

1. Space Pen

Closed Pen-fits in the palm of your hand

This pen is one of my husbands LOVES.  He has carried these pens for years.  When they are closed, they fit in the palm of your hand.  They are tiny.  When you open it, it is the size of a normal pen.  These pens are awesome because they can write upside down, in water, and in space (since I know that we are all going to Space).  Anyways, coming in the low $20.00 range, this is a HIGHLY recommended boy gift. 

Fisher Space Pen

2. Atomic Clock

This is another favorite in our house.  We have both really enjoyed having an atomic clock.  It is operated by a satellite and gives you both the indoor and outdoor temperatures.  It's fantastic!  We have had ours for several years and we continue to use and love it!

Atomic Clock

3. 3 Day Weather Station

This gift cracks me up because my husband thinks it is the best!  It comes in very handy when you don't want to wait for the weather channel to roll around to your information or when you don't have immediate access to the computer.  I think its a boy thing because he went banana's over this gift!

3 Day Weather Station

4. Change Cup

As a child, I remember watching my dad come home from work everyday, pulling endless amounts of change out of his pockets, and putting in the kitchen counter.  Somehow, men always end up with change in their pockets!  This was one of those, "I hope this is good" gifts that I bought a few years back.  My husband uses it religiously.  He usually leaves it in one of the cup holders in his car.  What is nice about it is that it counts your money for you.  It's nice to see that your penny's and dimes are actually amounting to something.  At $10, you can't go wrong.

Change Cup

5. Anything Under Armour

This is always a very reliable gift for guys.  They make EVERYTHING and there is something about wearing Under Armour that makes a guy feel tough.  My husband LOVES their shirts and the quality is fantastic!  Thankfully, UA is no longer a 'new' brand so its easy to find their merchandise for pretty cheap.  Always a good boy gift!

Well, that's my short list.  I am doing a little research and will do another list as we get closer to Christmas.  I hope one of these ideas has sparked an idea in your brain and made gift giving a little easier! 

I have tons of pictures from this weekend that I will be putting up sometime this week!  It really has been a fantastic weekend and it's been nice to remember that even though I'm a wife and mother, I'll always be 'Daddy's little girl'.  

Happy 60th, Dad!