We're a Team Again!

The last 10 days have surprised me.  I knew that we had an adjustment coming, but I thought it was more in relation to our children.  I thought I'd be playing the middle man and trying to help P get back into the routine.  Little did I know that I would be the one that needed the most adjustment.

My husband and I approach our life as a team.  We always say that it doesn't matter what comes our way, as long as we're together, we can handle it.  We have this strange way of motivating each other and being on the same page.  We talk things to DEATH.  We are very up front an honest about what our thoughts and we have learned the best methods for effective communication. 

With all of this being said, I figured that we would just jump right back into it when he came home.  For the most part, we did.  He was ready be my teammate again and continue down the same road.  For some reason, it was as if we were just barely missing the beat.  The best way to describe it would be if you were clapping to a beat and your partner was just miliseconds too late on every clap.  Still the same but not quite.

Somewhere in the last few days, we were able to find our rhythm.  We're working in unison, having fun, laughing, and enjoying the company of each other and our children.  It's amazing the peace that it brings.

Experiencing this really got me thinking about how working as a team with your spouse really does bring an intimacy into your family.  Without it, there is something missing.  It's just not quite right.  I love that at 6:30AM on Black Friday, I could make the spur of the moment decision to do our Christmas shopping and know that he can not only run everything here but also get everybody to the parade to meet me by 9:30.  I don't have to explain anything, I don't have to leave instructions, he just knows...after 10 days.  When I saw him walk up with all three kids, I could have cried.  It was the moment when I knew that the pressure was off me and we were a team again.  We work together for the common-good of our family and have a GREAT time doing it!

Cheers to being done!

Make sure to come back on Monday for the homecoming pictures/story and a GIVEAWAY!  And then Tuesday, we're back to normal life.  Thanks for sticking with me through this week!  I hope ya'll had a great Thanksgiving!

A Real Love Story...

If you are joining me for your first Common Sense Wife post, make sure to read Part I and Part II of my story.  It's pretty awesome (in my humble opinion...haha).

I still remember it vividly, my mom and I were in Washington D.C. on a college visit. 

That was where I learned to always ask for a corner hotel room...they are always bigger!  :-)

We had driven 2 hours outside of the city to check out the prospective school.  Upon arrival, I immediately knew that it wasn't right.  We didn't even get out of the car.  I asked my mom to turn around and take us back to the city.  It was there, at the hotel, that I got the phone call.

He was coming.

I jumped around our corner hotel room like a 13 year old at a backstreet boys concert!  The excitement that I experienced was unlike anything I had ever felt.  This was it.  It was finally happening!!!

Although my mom and I were close, the year had been a tough one for both of us.  She knew about P but we had never really talked about how important he was to me.  She was a little standoffish at the thought of him, a 20 year old Navy Sailor, flying in to take her only daughter to prom.  It seemed odd.  I did my best to share my excitement but knew that screaming,

"I'm going to marry this boy!!!"

might not go over well.  So, I kept my excitement contained to prom.  My parents were troopers because, at 17 years old, they allowed me to explore this relationship.  Well, April came, he flew in, and the connection was IMMEDIATE.  (Keep in mind this was only the second time we'd seen each other since meeting each other at 13 years old.)  I was in heaven. 

We got dressed up, took pictures, and off we drove in my mom's Cadillac (we're cool like that) to my prom.  Honestly, I don't remember a whole lot about prom besides thinking that I wished we would have just gone out to a nice dinner alone and realizing that this boy, the love of my life, could. NOT. dance!!!

Well, the weekend came to an end and it was at the airport that we finally discussed it.  We were officially boyfriend/girlfriend!  That determination was also followed up with something along the lines of, 'and we'll get married in a couple of years.'

Over the course of the next two years, we spent our time flying back and forth between Georgia and California and getting through a 7 month deployment.  Although my parents were not against my relationship, they couldn't quite grasp it.  When asked about it, the only way I could explain our relationship was,

"My entire life I prayed to have a friend who loved me as much as I loved them.  For someone who was just as excited to have me as I was to have them.  He does and we have so much fun.  He's my best friend."

Then, in May 2006, it happened.  On California's beautiful coast, he got down on a knee and asked me to be his wife.  As much as I loved him in that moment, I had no clue that my love would grow exponentially and of the adventure that we were about to embark on...

The Circle of Marriage

  I hope ya'll have gotten your week off to a great start and aren't too worn out...yet.

I'm excited for today because this is my first 'The Common Sense Wife' post.  From here on out, Tuesdays will become all about marriage, being a wife, and all the craziness that goes along with it.  Please feel free to comment openly.  I love to hear what other people have to say and tricks (or failures) that have (or have not) worked for them.

So, onto today's post.  I approach this post with excitement but reservation.  It speaks to the more 'intimate' part of a marriage but is, without doubt, one of the biggest lessons I use in my marriage.  So, here it goes.

When I was a senior in high school, I was given the opportunity to go on a retreat about the psychology of men and women, particularly within marriage.  Over the course of the weekend, we learned about what makes women and men tick, how we are different, and how to mesh it all together.  It was one of the most interesting weekends I have ever experienced. 

With all of the information that was thrown my way, the lesson that has stuck with me is this:

Women connect to their husbands through communication.  Men connect to their wives through the physical.  When one stops, the other stops.  It is the circle of marriage.

So, basically, as a woman, I need my husband to take time to sit and talk to me and hear the things that are going on inside my head and heart.  I need him to show that he cares and that he is hearing me.

At the same time, he needs me to show an interest in the physcial aspect of our marriage on a regular basis.  He needs to feel desired and he needs that intimate time together.

If I stop giving him that part of me, he will stop talking.  If he stops talking, I will, more than likely, stop giving him that intimate time.

Once I was married, I found this statement to be absolutely true.  I was amazed at the simplicity of the psychology.  While there are definitely other factors in a marriage, in its most basic form, the simple need and acknowledgment of the need for connection between a husband and wife is enormous.  What is even bigger, is the acknowledgement of how each of us attain that connection.  HUGE!

So, next time you and your spouse are at a standstill, butting heads of the stupidest of things, take a step back and see where the breakdown is located.  Re-establishing that connection and trust will usually get you back on the same page.