A Mama Pet Peeve...Keeping a Center

In general, I am a pretty laid back mom.  I don't usually freak out about too much. 

'What?  Little C is eating dirt?  Great!  She's educating her taste buds!'

And as crazy as it seems, I ENCOURAGE my kids to go play outside without shoes (in appropriate weather, that is).  I grew up only wearing shoes when I had to and I think there is something to be said for not ALWAYS following the 'rules'.  There's a simplicity about being barefoot that I want my kids to learn.

So, given my general laid back, and what I'd like to think common sense, approach to raising children, it takes me off guard when there is something that REALLY bugs me. 

Any mom who has had a newborn KNOWS that when these babies are still tiny, laying on their back, unswaddled, with arms and legs flying is a startling experience.  The teenie tiny babies hate it! 

So, given that information, why, right after you have delivered the baby, do they take the baby over to that table and just leave them flailing and, usually, screaming while they take vitals, etc?  It KILLS ME!!! 

After I had my son, my mom came into the delivery room as they were putting Little P on that table.  As a new mom, I was just watching as he screamed and flailed.  Very simply, my mom walked over and just placed her hand on his belly, bringing him back to the center that he had kept for the previous 10 months in my belly.  He immediately quieted down and the corpsmen were able to continue doing their job.

I know it seems silly, but to me that seems so simple.  These sweet babies have just been balled up in their mommy's tummy and now they are just thrown out there without any security. 

Before having my youngest, we took the tour of the new hospital.  As we walked past the nursery, I saw it again!  Three babies, laying, SCREAMING, in their bassinets as they flailed for dear life because their swaddle had come undone.  For someone who isn't overly sensitive, I got so upset I cried!  Seriously, could one of the nursery nurses stop their conversation and walk over to at least place their hand on the babies bellies or re-swaddle them?  (See, I told you it was a pet peeve!)

Anyways, now, whenever we have a baby, my amazing husband knows that it is his job to give the baby that center while the nurses are doing their job.  It has since become one of my favorite 'hospital' moments because within seconds, you see the power of a daddy. 

Do you have any, not so obvious, pet peeves?

The Adventures of having 2 Under 2

Just weeks after getting home from a 6 month deployment, my husband suggested that I may be pregnant, given my recent complaints.  What?  You're crazy.  No way!  'Our plan' was to wait for a year or so and then try for a baby.  Yea, well, SURPRISE!!!

BAM!: Due Date April 9, 2008

I have to be honest, that was a tough one to swallow.  Nothing that a little bit of time couldn't handle but still tough. 

Fast forward to April 2008, my sweet little boy was born.

He was great, life was great, all was GOOD.  

One evening in October 2008, my husband I start talking about trying for another come February 2009.  I remember telling him that I wanted to get my last 13 lbs off before having another. 

BAM!: Due Date July 15, 2009

WHAT?  Two under two...even more, two under 18 months!?!?!?  Little P and Little C are 15 months apart.  I said I was excited but was actually freaking out just a little bit inside.  We were living VERY far from home with no family within any reasonable distance and my friendships were...developing.  My husband worked 14 hour days and I was going to be on my own.  During my pregnancy, I recieved so much commentary from complete strangers.  Things like:

"Oh wow!  You'll be a busy mom!"

and

"Wow, thats insane!"

Great!  Awesome!  Thank you so much for calming my fears.  What I found funny was the mom's who had two under two said things like:

"You are going to LOVE it!"

and

"I love having mine close together.  They are the best of friends!"

By the time I went into labor, I wasn't nervous anymore, just ready to get this started and get into a new routine.  What I didn't know that my little girl would be born ANGRY!  I'm talking M.A.D.  She didn't have colic, she wasn't sick, she did have an irritating diaper rash but nothing that would have explained the RIDICULOUS amount of screaming that came from that little girl!  Holy Cow, what have I gotten myself into!?!?!

SEE, she even LOOKS mad!

Anyways, after about 11 weeks of pure hell trying to keep a handle on this little girl, I was finally able to sit down and look of the logistics of the first few months.  What was it ACTUALLY like to have two under two?  Because I had been so overwhelmed by Little C's ridiculous attitude, I hadn't even realized that handling two under two was no issue at all.  In fact, I realized that it had made my life a lot simpler because I had to be more organized in order for my days to run smoothly.  Even more, because I had such a crazy daughter to handle, I didn't have time to worry and fixate over stuff that wasn't ACTUALLY important.  When it came to the practical day to day stuff, I just put them on the same routine.  They napped at the same time, went to bed at the same time, and ate at the same time.  It probably took about 8 weeks to get Little C onto his schedule but once it was done, it was great!

Now, 2.5 years later (and one more baby added...that story later) I can't say enough about having two under two.  I. LOVE. IT!  They are the absolute best of friends and they teach each other so much.  Not joking, my son potty trained my daughter!  I couldn't have asked for better spacing.  It is awesome!

So, if you are thinking about it or are pregnant with #2 and are freaking out like I did, don't.  There is nothing to worry about!  You will be amazed at the ability of your toddler to love this new sweet baby and then they could grow into the absolute best of friends...INVALUABLE!

The Well Fed, Well Rested Baby-Sleeping

***The post will only cover the sleeping portion of The Well Fed, Well Rested Baby***

One of my absolute, all time favorite gifts I was given when I had my first baby was Dr. Denmarks, 'The Well Fed, Well Rested Baby' DVD.

Now, before I tell you about it, I should preface this by saying that Dr. Denmark is currently the 4th oldest person in the U.S.  She is a pediatrician from Georgia who practiced (loosely towards the end) until she was 103 years old.  She is known for being extremely practical and taking time with each individual child and parent in order to really learn about them before handing out treatment plans or recommendations.  Seriously, wouldn't that be a dream???

Anyways, her DVD is awesome.  First of all, it is hosted by 2 southern ladies who epitomize what it means to be a southern woman.  My husband and I had to watch it the first time just to get the giggles out and then the second time to actually take notes. 

Once we watched it for real we were struck by the basic, common sense way these ladies, instructed by Dr. Denmark, approached newborn sleep.  There was no anxiety around the issue, it was very straight forward. 

1) Babies should sleep on their belly.  While I know this is controversial, the explanation is spot on!  It explains that all mammals are downward facing beings.  Our bodies, especially the digestive tract, are designed to operate best in that manner.  They went on to explain that humans are the ONLY mammal that have even tried to put their young to sleep on their back...it is just not natural.  The also explained that whether it is back sleeping or side sleeping, the change in 'recommended sleep position' is constantly changing.

Watching this part inspired me to do a lot of research on the topic of SIDS and what I found did not exactly line up with everything I had been scared with.  The studies that are practically forced down your throat are not as clear and concise and they want you to believe.  It's important to remember though, that with everything there will always be two schools of thought.  As parents, all we are asked to do is do the necessary research to make sure we are doing whats right for our children, not just be TOLD what to do.

2)  Baby need to be taught how to eat a complete meal.  This was big for me because I was about embark on breastfeeding and, just like any new mom, had no idea what was in store.  This portion gave me an idea of what my goals were for meal time.  They explained that teaching the baby to eat a full meal (i.e. full bottle, nurse both sides, etc) would not only help with digestion and avoiding colic, gas, and acid reflux, but it would also give them the calories they needed to make it through the night.

3) Baby should be kept awake from 6-10pm.  This is the biggest point that has saved us from sleepless nights!  In the DVD, they give you a general nap schedule (depending on age) and when they are super little, keeping them awake from 6-10 is key.  I can tell you, it's hard...REALLY HARD!  The baby will cry, but once you

 put him or her down at 10, he or she will sleep soundly.  When doing this, the shortest stint I have ever gotten was 5 hours...shortest!  If nothing else, this is the one thing we always do from day 1.  I will say, though, that with my youngest, I decided that I didn't want to do it.  So, for two weeks, I was up every 2-3 hours and I was miserable!  So, back to the Dr. Denmark way we went.  I'm telling, MIRACLES! 

Anways, those are three biggest sleeping tips I got from this DVD.  They do have more to say on the topic but these were the three that worked well with our family.  I really do recommend this DVD, if for no other reason than for an outside perspective from the 4th oldest woman in the country.  She must be doing something right!

Order 'The Well Fed, Well Rested Baby' Here!

I Believe in Parents Intuition

The other day, my friend asked me what my dream job would be  Not a full-time, kids in daycare kind of job, but something that you could do while still at home with the kiddos.
I told her that I would love to be some sort of a common sense doula to new moms.  Not the kind that help you during labor but, rather, once you get home.  I remember walking in the front door, puttting down the carseat, looking around and saying, "now what?"  Was I supposed to do something right then?  What do mom's DO?  Should I go take a shower?  Wake the baby?  Maybe I should unpack.  I had no clue and quite frankly, it scared me.  I was a new mom with this tiny baby and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with him! 

Thankfully, I had my mom there to help.  My husband was back to work before we got out of the hospital so it was just me and the baby.  My mom was awesome about staying in the background, answering questions when I had them, and showing me her 'been there done there' tricks.  I appreciated it so much. 

I would love to do that for other people.  Having babies these days is more challenging than it was 30 years ago.  Now, you have a study to tell you what you should and shouldn't do for just about anything and a pediatrician following up asking question after question MAKING SURE that you don't break the 'rules'.  There is a lot of pressure to do everything 'right'. 

What I would love to bring to the table with other moms is that there isn't a right or a wrong way.  There is more to the story than statistics.  Use your brain, use your common sense.  Just because you are new to motherhood does NOT mean that you are clueless.  In fact, if more moms would just follow their gut, they'd be shocked at how well they actually do. 

That conversation was the reason I started this site.  I hope to reach out to mom's who are searching for something more than what they are being told is 'right'.  I hope to restore power to the intuition of parents.