Living With A.D.D.

What a week!  Sorry for the lack of posts this week!  The doctor put me on a new A.D.D. medication and WOW, it has messed me up!  Yes, I have A.D.D....in a big way!

I was actually diagnosed when I was in third grade.  Back then, I had several days of testing and was then sent to a psychologist that specialized in that arena.  Over the years, in addition to medication, my parents and I worked hard to try and figure out what would work best for me.   Life, as a kid, was always a struggle for me.  NOTHING was easy.  School was hard, social stuff was hard, my home-life was hard...EVERYTHING was hard.  It was quite defeating but my parents were so wonderful about reminding me that I was created for a purpose.  Eventually, I would find my purpose and all of these struggles were helping me become the person that I needed to be when that revelation came.  What amazes me, is that they were right!

Once I graduated college, I stopped taking my medication.  For some reason, I had always equated my A.D.D. to school.  After having little C, I couldn't keep ANYTHING together.  It didn't matter how many lists, calendars, and organizing tools I had, it wasn't working.  It really made me doubt my worth and ability to be a mother and a wife.  In addition to the anxiety I already suffered from, I was more anxious than ever because I couldn't see ANYTHING clearly.  What was wrong with me?

Eventually, I went to the doctor and told them that something was CLEARLY wrong.  I didn't know what it was, but I needed to figure it out.  I couldn't go on like this...I was miserable.  She referred me over to the psychologist to talk about adult A.D.D.  I went to my appointment and spoke to him for all of 10 mintues before he stopped me and said, "Jeanne, I don't even need to test you.  You pass with flying colors.  A.D.D. does not stop when school stops, its about how your brain works.  Let's address this."

I cried.

I cried because I felt embarrassed, I cried because I was relieved that someone was going to help me, and I cried because I felt like I should have known.

We started back on medication and bi-weekly appointments.  He was great because, like I had learned about my learning style when I was younger, he wanted to teach me techniques to manage life that would help me to be successful as an adult.  He also helped me to understand that A.D.D. is not a bad thing, it's part of who I am!  Because of it, I can bring things to the table that many other people can't.

Since then, I have been able to adjust my life to work WITH my A.D.D.  My laundry room, organization of clothes, and cleaning schedule are all examples of ways that I do this.  I try to organize my life in a way that is broken down to begin with so I don't have to break it down as I go.  In addition to this, my husbands support is HUGE.  He knows to take over specific tasks when I get overwhelmed.  If the kitchen or laundry are ever out of control, he will step in and get them back to a manageable place. 

Before I end this post, I just want to say that A.D.D. is a very real thing.  When my husband and I got married, he was of the opinion that it wasn't 'real', just an excuse.  He quickly adjusted his opinion.  If you or somebody you know is ever struggling to understand what it is like, just follow these steps and it will be clear.

1. Get a book, headphones with loud music, a few kids, and a drum.

2. Tell the kids to scream, run, jump, and talk as loudly as they can.

3. Have someone bang on the drum

4. Put on your headphones

5. Start reading

Now, do you remember what you read?  Were you able to focus?

While this is an obvious example, this is daily life.  When I walk into a store, the background music is SO LOUD and I am distracted by the slightest thing.  I do not have the ability to weed this stuff out.  It is SO FRUSTRATING!  Eventually, I will get so overwhelmed by everything that is going on and will just shut down and quit.

So, there you have it.  I was actually not planning on writing about this today, but I guess it was inspired...haha.  I hope this helps someone to understand what its like to live with A.D.D. or helps another mom know that there are others out there who are struggling just as much.  Now you know just a little bit more of my heart...

The Crayon Catastrophe

The other day was laundry day.  I was on my second load and about to switch my third and final load from the wash to the dryer.  I opened my dryer, took out the clothes, and saw this:

Purple crayon ALL OVER THE DRYER!  AHHHHHHH!

Seriously?  C'mon!  Once I saw that, I immediately looked down at the clothes that I had just pulled out.  They. Were. Covered.  AHHHHHH!  So frustrating!

So, my way of coping with this frustrating situation?  I got out a garbage bag, put all of those clothes in it, shoved it all back in the dryer, and shut the door.  Not dealing with it!

Well, that plan could only last a few days b/c my second laundry day was coming up.  So, today, I decided to face it...at least the dryer.  (The clothes are still in the garbage bag in the hallway.  I'll let ya know how I deal with that.)

I did a little bit of investigation and began my cleaning.  This is what I used:

WD-40, a soft cloth, dish soap, and a sponge.
(You should have seen my husbands face when I told him that I needed the WD-40 for my dryer...oh, ye of little faith!)

I began by spraying the WD-40 on the soft cloth and wiped over all of the marks.  While it lightened them, it did not get rid of them.  So, then I put soap on the tough side of the sponge and scrubbed.  It came off pretty quickly, but it definitely took a lot of elbow grease.  I repeated this all over the dryer drum and this is what I ended with:

Pretty good!  There are still some faint marks but I think thats fine.  It took about 20 minutes to thoroughly clean the entire dryer and I'll admit, my arms and hands are TIRED.

So, if you ever find yourself with a crayon filled dryer, here's your solution.  OR, if you are finding your arms to be a bit flabby this would also be a good solution!  Either way, I have learned my lessons!  I will never NOT check pockets ever again!  Scrubbing my dryer is not exactly how I picture myself spending nap time!

When Less Is More

As a busy mom, I am always trying to find ways to simplify my life.

Less dishes?  Tell me how!

Less Laundry?  I'll do it!

I wanted to share with you a few things that I have done to simplify my day-to-day.

Bottles and Sippy Cups

After learning the hard way and having a sink like this:

I vowed to never to do it like this again!  I learned my lesson.

Now, whether I am pumping or using formula, I never have more than 3 bottles...EVER!  I have to admit, I was little skeptical of my own idea but it made my life SO much easier.  Not only did I not have a sink full of bottles but it FORCED me to clean them almost immediately which meant that I usually did one or two other dishes while I was standing there.  It really helped with not letting the dishes get out of control.

So, once the kiddos got to the sippy cup stage, I refused to have this:

For some personalities, that works.  For me...O.V.E.R W.H.E.L.M.I.N.G.

So, each of my kids has 2-3 sippy cups.  One is for water and then the other one is for juice or milk.  There is no specific designation, I just always have a water cup going and they get a cup of juice with breakfast and usually a cup of milk at some point throughout the day.  At the end of the day, its super easy to round up the cups and pop them into the dishwasher.  Works for me!

Dishes and the Dishwasher

Dishes, oh, dishes.  You can ask my mother and she will tell you that I HATE doing dishes.  My father-in-law, whether he knows it or not, always has this special way of doing the dishes when he visits.  There is no better gift.  I don't know what it is about it, I just HATE them! 

Anyways, given that they are necessary, I have had to learn to love accept them.  What I have discovered is that even if I don't do the dishes all throughout the day, I DO NOT sit down at night until they are done.  Period.  My kitchen has to be done before I sit down to read, watch TV, go to bed, etc.  For me, there is nothing worse than waking up to work.

As of now, I only have three kids (yes, yes, I'll cover the whole 'how many do you want' question another time)  so, generally, I only have to run the dishwasher once a day.  I have struggled to find the 'perfect' time to run it and have finally decided that starting it right before I go upstairs for the night is the best.  This way, I can load it all throughout the day, unload it in the morning, and then start all over.  My bottles, sippy cups, bowls, and spoons are always ready in the morning for breakfast. 

Clothes

If you haven't read it already, here is my clothing system.  In short, at the beginning of each season/size, each child gets:

8 daily outifts

6 PJs

1 Extra Pair of Jeans

2 Church Outfits

Any seasonal pieces necessary

Seriously, a lifesaver on the laundry front but also on the organizing and shopping front!

Without a doubt in the world, I have found that less is WAY more when it comes to most kid things.  The more I have, the more chaos there is.  So, simplify, simplify, simplify is the name of my game.  Sometimes it requires more immediate discipline on my part but in the long run, it makes my life so much better.  And lets face it, there's some truth the saying, 'If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy'. 

Making A Fool-Proof Cleaning Schedule

The other day, a few girlfriends and I were talking about keeping up with chores around the house.  Between kids, meals, errands, cleaning, carpool, laundry, and any other mental or emotional breakdowns that happen throughout the day, it is so easy to get lost!

After having little C, I found myself wandering through my day so overwhelmed with everything that I had to get done.  I felt like everytime I started on laundry, someone needed to be fed, changed, or whatever else goes on with having two babies.  At the time, my husband was working ridiculous hours and while he couldn't always physically help with the work, he helped me come up with a plan to organize myself.

So, this is what we did.  We sat down and made lists of the things that needed to be done daily, weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly.

Don't judge, I know my handwriting is ridiculous... :-)

So, once we came up with these lists, the next step was to put it into calendar form.  For this, I just took a blank piece of paper and wrote out four weeks worth of Monday-Friday. 

First, we added the weekly chores, being conscious of when certain things would get done in conjuntion with any weekly commiments that I had. 

After that, I went to bi-weekly.  I split them up pretty evenly and made sure to take time into consideration (not pairing two time consuming tasts together).

And last, I added monthly chores. 

I had considered putting them on a calendar with dates but after thinking about it realized that dates nor length of the month mattered.  There will always be Monday-Friday.

So, once I got it all settled, I wrote it up on my refrigerator calendar my awesome sister-in-law gave me. 

Now, everyday, I don't have to get overwhelmed with a long list of things to do.  Rather I have 2 or 3 things to do each day and it's pretty simple to keep up with.  Obviously, you will have your times when you miss days and have to catch up but that can be done at your discretion.  Those are the times when it is nice to be your own boss!

Anyways, thats my cleaning schedule.  No matter how organized you are, it all comes down to self-discipline and being flexible to work with the variables around you.  Nothing is ever perfect. 

Happy Cleaning!