Aim for Progression, Not Perfection!

As I told you in my State of Life Address, I have been lending my heart and mind to FAR too many things.  In turn, I have found myself completely stressed, emotionally exhausted, and physically rundown.

As I try to pick and choose where to invest my heart, I have learned a few things about myself.

In a conversation with some friends of ours, my friend Robbie pointed out that I am a perfectionist.  When I quickly corrected him letting him know that my life is RARELY in order his response left me silent.  He said,

"No, not like that.  You are a perfectionist in that if you have 10 things to do and you only complete 6, you scrap the whole day.  It's all or nothing for you."

Wow.  I had never thought of it that way. 

Just that night, they had shown up 15 minutes early for dinner; the house wasn't ready, I had no makeup on, the kids weren't completely dressed, and I hadn't vacuumed under the table.  Those points CONSUMED my brain.  I spent the first hour apologizing for this, that, and everything else instead of seeing the fact we were enjoying each others company and about to sit down to a great dinner.  HELLO!?!?!  I'm missing the big picture here!

He went on to say that we should be going for Progression, NOT Perfection.  By aiming for perfection, I do not acknowledge the progress that I have made, therefore putting me right back to square one.  But, if I would just acknowledge and accept the progression that was made, be it a lot or a little, I can then pick up where I left off and keep moving.  It leaves room for learning rather than complete disappointment and standstill.

Maybe I am not quick to learn these things but MAN, that made so much sense to me!

This really got me thinking.  How often do we as mom's talk about what we need to work on and how we aren't doing enough?  Now, how often do we have conversations about how well we are doing?  It's backwards!  While it is good to be aware of our shortcomings and work to improve them, when it's all that we focus on, we start aiming for perfection and losing sight of our progression.

I, for one, will never be perfect.  I will never do everything right or have everything done.  Quite frankly, if I do, it's probably at the expense of my husband and children...NOT WORTH IT! 

I am a work in progress.  To ignore such progress is to ignore the journey.  If we ignore the journey, we'll never reach true perfection which can only be found in Heaven.

Now THAT is an 'Ah-Ha' moment!

Happy Fat Tuesday!

I have never been to New Orleans or attended any sort of a real mardi gras party, but I LOVE Fat Tuesday!

For me, Fat Tuesday serves two purposes.  One, it's another mini-holiday to do fun things with the kids.  Today, we are making our very first King Cake (thank you Nana).  Secondly, I feel like its the calm before the storm that is Lent.

As a Catholic, Lent serves as a pretty big season of the year.  It's 40 days of preparations for Christ's rising from the dead.  Over the years, I have come to really love Lent because of the sacrifices that you do in preparing your heart.  As much as I always tried to convince my mom that I should give up school or homework when I was younger, that never really worked.  I always ended up giving up Coke, fast food, or chocolate. 

Now, as an grown woman, wife, and mother, it has turned into so much more.  I understand that the sacrifice or added commitment during Lent needs to be something that will open up more space for Christ to fill.  It's time for me to purge my heart of the things that shouldn't actually serve as such a high priority.  I need to make room.  Moreover, I need to find something that will help my family also prepare their hearts for the Risen Christ. 

So, in my discernment for lent this is what I have come up with.  During deployment, my laptop became of utmost importance to me.  It was my connection to my husband and my closest friends.  It also served as a journal and stress relief through my blog.  It became my companion.

Since P's return, I have struggled to put it back in it's place.  I know it sounds silly, but similar to many people and their I-phones, I am addicted.  (This is why I refuse to have a smart-phone.)

So, for my personal Lenten resolution, I am giving up my laptop.  I am not giving up Internet or facebook or blogging, but I am giving up doing those things on my laptop.  We have a desktop computer upstairs and that will serve as my new 'portal to the world'.  Using the desktop will really force me to prioritize my computer time and not spend so much time doing absolutely nothing.  Moreover, I will spend more time being completely present with my family rather than half there, half waiting for a returned e-mail, etc. 

Secondly, my husband and I have committed to better preparing our family prayer/bible/holy time in the evenings.  I have signed us up for this awesome program called Lenten Adventure.  I will receive e-mails with activities, stories, and other materials to get my kiddos involved in Lent and the preparations for Easter.  We have realized that the more we put into our kids learning about Christ (on a toddler level), the more we learn and grow ourselves.  We're supposed to be child-like, right?

So, there you have it.  As of tonight at midnight, I will no longer be writing via my laptop.  With this change might also come a learning curve so bear with me.  The desktop is in our guest room (which is where Little P naps) so I am going to have to be really smart with my time. 

So on this Fat Tuesday, we'll party it up with King Cake, Pancakes for dinner, and some Marti Gras coloring pages.  Are you doing anything special as you begin your journey to Holy Week and Easter?

State of Life Address...

So, I have to be honest, I have been avoiding my blog.  It's true.  In the last few weeks, I have gotten spun up about so many things that I have just avoided blogging so I don't say too much.  When I am passionate, I have a tendency to completely spew at the mouth without regards to any possible consequences.  So, needless to say, I have been keeping pretty close to home with my mouth shut (well, kinda...sorry fb friends!).

Anyways, I wanted to give ya'll an update on life and a brief rundown about what has been going on here for the last few weeks.

1.  We are still trying to move ahead with this house.  P and I made the executive decision that we will not be closing on the other house until we are under contract on our current one.  We still have over a month until closing so we are not OVERLY concerned but we'll have to wait and see.  After talking and praying about it, we realized that this whole thing came about because we felt called to the lifestyle.  If it doesn't work out, we're fine with that.  Maybe we were only called 'for a time' and let me tell you how much I learned in the last month...WOW! 

The bank is being completely 'bankish' and taking FOREVER to completely dewinterize the house so we can complete our inspection.  It seems endless. 

The more we visit the house and show it to our family and friends who visit, the more excited and scared I get.  It will be a HUGE undertaking but at the same time will definitely be awesome once it is completed.  We see the benefits to our family and that makes it worth fighting for.  So, we will just have to continue waiting for our inspection to be completed.  We'll see what God has in store.

2. The Government.  Holy macaroni, I highly recommend that unless you want to hear an ear full, you do not ask me about the government.  Between the HHS Mandate (and subsequent 'compromise'), the election, and all of the other drama that has been in the news I have been spinning.

In no way, shape, or form do I want to make my blog a place for politics but what I will say is that we, as Americans, need to take the time to know what is going on.  As much as people want to put blame on one or two people, it's more than that.  We are creating the country in which our kids will grow and learn from.  We have the power but we have to choose to be informed.  Sitting and expecting other people to take care of it does not work.  So, I encourage you, for the quality of life for you, your kids, and future grandkids, start learning.  This year is a HUGE year in our government.  It is a definitive line drawn in the sand.  SPEAK UP!

3. The George Huguely Trial.  I don't know if many of you know about the current murder trial of George Huguely.  He was a UVA Lacrosse player who is on trail for murdering his girlfriend.  Now, I know that most don't really care about it but it really got to me.  You see, I drive by it every single day.  Every day, I see both of their family's and friends walking in and out of the courthouse and I can't help but wonder what they are thinking and feeling.  For me, it brought up deep feelings because I know what it feels like to lose someone due to a heinous murder.  I know that Shannon's family is going to go through this exact scenario soon and it makes me angry. 

Every night, I was watching the news watching for my van behind the reporters (I know, I'm silly) but with every news report I was hearing more and more details that reminded me of the conversations I had with Shannon.  Listening to the defenses plans make me wonder what they will spew out about Chris.  It just really hit close to home.

Needless to say, these last few weeks have been rough for me.  I have the type of personality that once I start spinning, I struggle to stop.  Thankfully, my mom came up last week for my birthday and was able to poke a hole in my bubble bringing me back down to earth.  Sometimes it's hard to trust a greater plan when you feel completely out of control.  I am so very thankful to be surrounded by people who are more than willing to remind me.

I Am So Thankful!

Every night at dinner, we go around the table sharing what we are thankful for.  For the last week or so, I have had a hard time coming up with something to say because I have been so overwhelmed by life.  This house, that house, money, contracts, politics, kids, school, cooking, laundry, etc.  It's as though I've been in a tail spin.

This weekend, the hubs took the older two kids to his parents house for a 'spur of the moment' Super Bowl visit.  For some reason, Mini C has slept the majority of the time since they left and it has given me a lot of time to reflect. 

As I looked around my house, scanned over a few blogs, and talked to a few friends I realized how thankful I really am.  I might have trouble seeing the silver lining in a crazy overwhelming day but, MAN, how did I luck out with a life like this?

I have a faith that I am so head over heels in love with.  My faith in Christ and His Will has grown and matured so much in the last year and I can say that it has truly become of utmost importance.  It may not always make life comfortable but I am reminded of what Pope John Paul II said,

"Do NOT be satisfied with mediocrity! The world will offer you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness!”

I have a husband who sweeps me off my feet on a regular basis.  After 5 years, 3 kids, 3 moves, 2 countries, 3 states, and 2 deployments, he continues to be my best buddy.  I have never been around another human being who has the same drive, dedication, work ethic, love, and passion as this man.  He never steps down when he's tired.  The way he understands what it means to be an American will always leave me speechless.  He always makes sure that I know that I am 'his woman' (that's a compliment for a girl from the south...haha).

I have a little boy who is sweeter than pie, a little girl who is the spit fire of my life, and another little girl who always makes sure that her mama knows that she is loved.  I learn more in a day than some will learn in a year.  They let me mess up.  They forgive me when I lose it.  They are so excited to see me EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING.  It's crazy!

I have parents, in-laws, brothers, sister-in-laws, and all sorts of aunts, uncles, and grandparents who encourage me to keep up the good fight.  Keep fighting for what is right.  When I get tired, they don't let me fall, they tell me to get up and keep going.  They are my teachers, my counselors, and my guides.  They are some of my best friends.

Lastly, I have my friends.  Ya'll, I have the best friends a girl could ask for.  Over the course of my life, I have somehow gathered quite a few friends who I would consider 'heart friends'.  These are the people who don't just love me because I am gorgeous, incredible, brilliant, and fun to be around, they love me because they know my heart.  They know what makes me tick at the most basic of levels.  They will fight for my heart, for my purity, for my soul at the expense of any hurt feelings or friendship.  They have their eyes set on the same thing I do.  They want me to achieve heaven.

As I write all of this out, I am mesmerized by the fact that He chose me.  He chose to give me all of these people to encourage and lead me to Him.  He knew that I'd have my struggles and with every one, another person has stepped up to help me stay focused. 

And for that, I am thankful!



I'm Trusting You...

I have always had an innate understanding and trust in God's Will.  It is not something that I worked to develop, it has just always been there.  That faith has always brought me great comfort when I was up against something that was, humanly, very hard to understand. 

This trust has been under attack in the last few weeks.  As exciting as this move is, I am terrified!  I am scared about spending the money that we have worked so hard to save. I am scared to finally come to terms with the idea of homeschooling (I didn't say that out loud, ignore it).  I'm scared that I won't cut it when trying to be the mom I KNOW I'm called to be. 

The other day, after looking at the amount of closing costs/realtor fees needed for the selling and purchasing of these two homes, I about lost it.  As I rode in the car with P, I closed my eyes and prayed, "Lord, I don't want to do this.  I know we are supposed to, but I don't want to.  It's too hard."  With the most perfect clarity I got, "Trust me."  With that, I went to sleep (I think it was more of a body shutting itself down from stress kind of nap) and woke up with the most awkward peace.  I was still anxious, nervous, and emotional, but I had an authentic peace that if I just keep going, it will come together as it should.

My dad has always told me that at some point in life, I would have to risk it all.  I'd have to step up, shut my eyes, and just jump.  Well, I think this is it.  This is our game-changer.

I have trusted in God's Will for my life thus far, and they are right, His will always brings me the most fulfillment.  I suppose there is no reason to stop trusting now.  But for the record,

I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!!!

(Thanks for letting me say that!)

It's Raining!

I have wanted rainboots for over a year!  On rainy days, everybody always looked so cute wearing their rain boots and skinny jeans.  Then there was me, dredging through, jeans wet to the knees. 

The thing is that I am a bargain shopper.  I refused to just go out and send $30-$60 on RUBBER RAINBOOTS.  Not happening.  One time, I saw them marked down on clearance for $12.99 at TJMaxx but for some reason didn't buy them...bad decision making clearly!

From that day on, $12.99 became my goal price.  Well, almost 9 months had passed, the rainy season almost over, and I was still soaking my jeans.

Until...

We were wasting time walking through a store and there sat ONE pair of rain boots about my size sitting on the clearance rack!  P told me to go look just to see if, by any slight chance, they were my size and price. 

Size: CHECK

Price: $9.99

Enter the happy dance!!!  I was SO EXCITED!  I had waited so long and FINALLY I was finally getting my rainboots!  WOOHOO!

So, today is the first rainy day since then and I am SO excited to be rocking my super cute, polka-dotted rainboots!  Who knew, something so simple could make me so excited...does that mean I need to get out more?

______________________________________________________

On another note, we are signing all of paper work to put our house up on the market today.  Scary scary!  I'm anxious to get a bunch of contractors into the new house to give us a final number of what we are looking at in renovations...I'm ready to get this thing started!  Definitely feeling the anxiety of the calm before the storm.

The Nitty Gritty

There is a great swing on the front porch!  So great that Mini-C
refuses to get off of it without an absolute fit!

Now that I have gotten everybody excited about our new adventure, I wanted to tell you more about this house.  I will preface all of this by saying, decorating, colors, remodeling, etc, are NOT my thing.  If you have suggestions, let me know!

So, our lovely, new, enormously big house.  I never expected to buy a house in the 5000 sq ft range.  Neither of us did.  I grew up in a large home and since becoming a mom, I have learned that chasing children through a big house can be quite complicated.  So, when I first saw the square footage on this house, I was hesitant.  Then, when we went and saw it, I realized that it was wonderfully compartmentalized.  It is not huge open spaces, rather large specific spaces that I can keep under control.

The house is a forclosure so it's not in perfect condition.  In fact, it will need quite a bit of work upon closing but that was something we took into consideration with our offer.  We had it inspected before we even put in our first offer so we knew what we were getting into.  While the list is long (new roof, flooring, kitchen counters, sealing/staining the logs, etc) there are no structural issues.  In fact, the inspector, in his awesome country accent, referred to it as "a sturdy ol' gal."  haha.  How's that for comforting?

The land is AWESOME!  The home backs up to a ton of trees with a creek being our property line.  We also have an AMAZING rope swing tree in the front yard.  That will be one of our first things we do upon moving in. 

We don't close for another 60 days, so we have until March 25th to get all of our stuff in order.  While the purchase of that home doesn't depend on it, we will also be selling this house.  So, pray for my sanity as I organize all the necessities for a renovation and showings on this house with three kids all at the same time.  I'm a little worried. 

So, I am going to do my best and keeping ya'll up to date and keep the blog posts coming.  BUT, if I am not around, you know where I am...losing my mind! 

Stay tuned for this awesome adventure!  I can't wait to see whats next!

Under Contract!

My husband and I have a dream.

We have a dream where we can raise our kids to be self-sufficient, do it yourself, running through the grass barefoot, fun loving, 'old school' kids. 

We have a dream of having a few chickens, maybe some horses, a goat or two, and some dogs. 

We have a dream of teaching our kids real life and practical lessons that will not only help them pass their standardized tests but will also give them the confidence to go out and chase their dreams with enduring perseverance.

We have a dream that our kids will grow up as kids and not know about the chaos of the world around them until they are actually old enough to comprehend it.

We have a dream that our kids will care less about the TV and video games and more about going outside to play on the rope swing and treehouse.

We have a dream to raise our kids in such a way that responsibility is not something they do rather it's who they are.

We have this dream.

We've always known exactly what we were working towards but we were waiting to see how we got there.

Then, about 6 weeks ago, P sent me a random e-mail with a link.  I opened it and laughed.  It was of a foreclosure listing of a huge log house that looked like it was an old house sitting on the side of the road. 

NO WAY.

Then, it just kept going.  He finally convinced me to go see it.  After that, I agreed to see the inside with a realtor.  With every step, I was expecting SOMETHING to scream

NO!!!!!!!

But, it never did.  The house is SO COOL.  It has almost 4700 sq ft, 5 bedrooms, and 4 1/2 bathrooms.  It's on 5.5 acres.  Despite it's look of utter discombobulation, it's bones are beyond sturdy.  With every meeting, inspection, and pre-qualification, the journey just kept moving.  And now, as of January 25, we are official 'Under Contract'. 

When our realtor called to tell us the news, neither P nor I really knew what to say.  This is it.  This is the start of our dream.  It may take a little bit of blood, sweat, and tears but it is what we make it.  The door has now been opened, it's time for us to step through.

So, here we go!  This road will be long but worth it.  We are not just buying a house, we are buying a dream.

Moving on From 2011

I haven't written anything about the New Year yet.  I've tried.  My words just weren't coming together.  I couldn't get myself together this week and I didn't know why.  Now, at 11:30pm on Thursday night, I am starting to figure it out.

2011 was tough!

Let's recap:

*Started 2011 with all of my children being sick for 6 weeks.

*Mini-C was Baptized by Fr. E

*Attended Fr. E's first home Mass and Reception

*Prepare for deployment

*Visited the hubs family in New Hampshire

*Took a weekend trip with P

*Deployment

*My friend, Shannon, was murdered

*My dear neighbor, Mel, passed away

*Deployment

*Took the kids to visit my parents in Atlanta

*Earthquake located 20 miles from my home

*Minor melt-down

*Deployment

*Best friend had first baby who ended up in the NICU

*Lost 33 lbs

*P came home from deployment

*Everything that goes along with the homecoming and readjustment

*Thanksgiving

*Visit to New Hampshire

*Christmas

*My other best friend has her second baby who also ends up in the NICU

*New Years

As I struggle to put one foot in front of the other this week, I couldn't figure out if it was hormones, a thyroid issue, or if I was just relaxing in anticipation of P and I's week long cruise starting this weekend.  Now, as I lay awake, I realize that I've never let down after this year.  I keep trying to focus on what I've learned and how I've grown but I haven't stepped back to acknowledge the fact that it was a tough one and I SHOULD be tired.

I struggle to put a cap on last year because I scared that I will forget.  I don't want to leave Shannon behind.  I don't want to move on from my brother's ordination and first Mass.  I'm scared that I'll forget all of the lessons that I learned while P was gone and more importantly that I will take for granted the fact that he's home. It's so easy to go backwards and get comfortable but this year was far too profitable for that to happen.  I'm just not sure how to categorize it and bring it into the new year as an asset instead of baggage.  So much happened that I wasn't able to really process any of it!

Maybe 'feeling' it isn't at all what I need.  Maybe this is one of those times where I am supposed to just hand it all over.  I've lived it all to the best of my ability.  Now, it's time for me to walk away carrying all of my triumphs and bruises having confidence in the fact that there is someone in far more control than me.  He knows.  He knows whats to come and why I needed such a 'crash course' kind of a year.  He'll let me know when it's time but for now, I can move on.  There's no need to hold on to any of it.

I am being given the opportunity to rest and relax with my wonderful husband next week.  It's time to recharge my battery, regroup as a team, and come back ready to tackle 2012.

Happy New Year, friends!  I'm excited to see what it holds.

3 Lessons Learned

I am so thankful for P's deployment.  As difficult as it may have been,

I. LEARNED. SO. MUCH!

If I were to write out EVERYTHING that I have learned, it would take HOURS to read this post so I decided to stick to the top 3.  So, here they are:

1. I have ridiculous expectations

In August, I had a minor mental/emotional breakdown.  I had been chugging along doing my thing but between the death of my two friends and then the earthquake, it became completely clear that in the grand scheme of things, I have absolutely no control.  For someone who had gotten tired and was barely hanging on...I lost it.

Thankfully, I have the best parents in the world and it took all of 3 seconds of skyping for them to hop in the truck to come to my rescue.  My parents brought the older two to their house for about 10 days and I was given the opportunity to get my act together. 

During this time, I realized that the expectations that I had put on myself were absolutely unrealistic.  I learned that having a completely clean house, folded laundry, and home made dinner on the table at night does NOT make me a good mom.  I had never adjusted my expectations from being a two parent household to a one parent household and I was trying to do it all.  It didn't work.  I needed to address my expectations.

2. Kids are so much more capable than we allow.

I think most would agree that every generation before has some laundry list of things that they had to do that kids 'nowadays' don't.  While I am sure that is true, what I realized is that its not just that kids don't do them, its that we don't allow them to because we're scared.  My three year old does the dishes...seriously.  If I hadn't been upstairs when he first tried, I would have never known.  I started realizing that as moms, we just do everything for our kids before seeing what they are capable of.

Being a single parent for a time, I needed the help.  So, about halfway through, I started challenging them.  I'd give them tasks (not expecting perfection or even success) just to see what they were capable of.  I knew to stay close but the pride on their faces when they tried something new was priceless.  What I learned was that these children are SO MUCH MORE capable that we give them credit for! 

In our day and age, we tend to parent out of fear.  There are so many statistics telling us about the dangers, that we don't ever doubt them to look at the possible greater good in doing what is difficult.  I have been forever changed.  I am happier and, more importantly, THEY are happier.

3. Being Straight Forward Is the Best Policy.

While this lesson applies to all arena's of life, I learned that the more straight forward and specific I was, with my kids, the better.  For instance, I learned to lay out my expectations/rewards/consequences of their behavior before getting out of the car at the grocery store.  Once I started TELLING them what I was looking for, grocery shopping became SO much simpler.  I started breaking our day down so they knew what I was expecting and I knew what they were expecting.  It made life SO MUCH SIMPLER.

So these are the top three that are in my head right now.  I am sure I will talk to a friend, my mom, or somebody who will remind me of another big lesson, but for now, this is it!  Maybe I'll continue this list, who knows.

Things are going well around here.  Kids are happy, I am more rested (and therefore happy), and P is just happy to be home!  It's nice to see the kids adapt to him so easily.  We've agreed that it's not that we can't believe he's home, rather we can't believe that the 6.5 months ever happened.

I also wanted to let you know that if you have any questions, feel free to ask.  Every time I talk to friends, they seem to have tons and I don't mind answering any of your curiosities.

Have a great day!

AND THE WINNER IS....

I tallied up all of the entries and used random.org to come up with the winner!

The winner of the free consult and style board from It's Becker Style is:

Marisa S.

Marisa is a military wife, mother of three, and certified Zumba instructor.  After having her youngest (shown in the picture), Marisa set out to lose all of her babyweight.  And, man, does she look great!

I am so happy for you and I hope that you find your new style in your NEW BODY!!!

Congratulations!!!

I've Lost It, What Do I Do Now? GIVEAWAY

About 6.5 months ago, I made a goal for myself that I would lose all of my baby weight (33 lbs) by my 5th Wedding Anniversary.



Before-size14

After-Size 6/8

Well, my anniversary is two weeks from today and I have made it!



After having three babies in under three years, I found myself in quite the shlump (yes, I made that word up...isn't it awesome?)  I had gradually gained 33 pounds and I felt like it was far too much weight to even try and lose...it wouldn't happen.  I wasn't happy with how I looked and even more with how I FELT.

So, one day, after feeling sorry for myself and giving every excuse under the sun, I decided to get over myself, join a gym, and figure this out. If I wanted to be the mom that I wanted to be, I needed to be able to climb stairs without huffing and puffing.

After much thought, I got a personal trainer. That was one of the most painful decisions simply because of the cost, but it was the single BEST decision I made. I really lucked out because my trainer, Adam, took the time to acknowledge the stresses in my life but never let me wallow in my own self pity. One day, while complaining about how hard I was working, he simply looked at me and said,

"If you want to lose it, you have to do more."

Point taken.

Adam and I met twice a month at which time he would give me a new workout for the next two weeks. It was awesome to work with someone who believed in me FAR more than I believed in myself. Some weeks, he would give me work outs for the sole purpose of proving to me how much I could do...how cool is that?

This pictures just screams
'LAUREN'! 
Isn't she awesome?

As awesome as it is that I have finally gotten back down to my 'pre-baby' size, my body looks NOTHING like what it used to. That was quite an adjustment. After feeling sorry for myself for a bit, I decided to stand up, be proud of myself, and keep moving. The only problem was that I had no clothes that fit and had spent so many years covering up that I didn't know the current styles.

This is when one of my closest friends, Lauren, from It's Becker Style, jumped in to save me. I had a style board in my e-mail inbox within days. She had scoped out the top 10 things that I needed to buy, explained exactly what I was looking for, and their versatility. She pushed me out of my 'mom-box' and as scary as it was it felt AMAZING. For the first time in years, I felt like more than a mom; I felt like a woman...a proud one at that.  Lauren really helped me to learn how to dress my new curves.  She has this natural understanding of what styles fit what body-types...something that I know NOTHING about.

So, in celebration of my accomplishment, I wanted to share with you this awesome gift!  Lauren has agreed to work with one of my readers to create their own style board!!!  This includes a consultation (phone, skype, e-mail, etc) and a visual board consisting of 10 items recommended specifically for you, based on your expressed needs. Includes tips on how to buy the items and where to look for them.

What's even better???  You have SIX different ways to enter!

How to enter: 

Comment on this post for each entry (make sure to leave your e-mail address if you do not have a blog profile).

1) Become a Follower of It's Becker Style via google connect

2) Follow It's Becker Style on Twitter

3) Follow The Common Sense Mama via google connect

(right side of the page under the live feed)

4) Like The Common Sense Mama on Facebook

5) Follow The Common Sense Mama on Twitter

6) Share this giveaway (facebook, twitter, blog, etc.)  Just use the link!

This Giveaway ends on Sunday November 20th @ noon!  The winner will be announced on Monday!

Good luck and Have Fun!

I'm A 'Can-Do' Grill...I mean Girl!

So, I have been wanting to get my husband a new grill for A LONG TIME! 

I bought the one he has for $75.00 as a 'Welcome Home from Deployment' gift about 5 years ago.  He loved it!  In those 5 years, it has gone from being a pretty good grill to, well, catching on fire every time you turn it on!

Old Grill:

Well, since my husband is out of town, I wanted to surprise him with a new one when he got home!  So, I've been doing my research on grills.  I've looked high and low trying to find the best one for the amount of money I wanted to spend (no more than $350).  I found a few that I was interested in but for some reason my gut kept telling me to hold off...so I did.

Well, the other night, I made up my mind that I was just going to go on Lowes.com and buy one and be DONE.  I hopped on, typed in 'Gas Grill' and was shocked when I saw a $500 grill that I had previously looked at, envied, and moved on marked down to...

....are you ready???

$82.00!!!

Can you believe that???  Needless to say, I bought that baby so fast that I could barely type in the numbers from my debit card.  As soon as I pressed 'complete order', I put my kids in the car and flew up to the store hoping that I'd get there, pick up the grill, and leave before they realized that something had gone wrong.

Well, I picked it up.  The guy who put it in my car told me that he wasn't sure what happened but it was still clearly listed for $499.99 inside the store.  And off I drove.

(Making sure not to look in my mirrors just in case someone was running behind me trying to stop me.)

Well, on Saturday morning, still on a complete high from my 'steal', I excitedly opened the back of my van.  Wow, thats a big box!  Mini C was sleeping and the other two were playing nicely so I decided to shimmy it out of the van and get to putting it together.

Surely it would only take an hour or two to put together!

I opened the box and took everything out.  And it just kept coming and coming and coming.  At this point, I got a little worried.

Do you like my shadow?

I decided to just jump right in, hope for the best, but know that I could always throw it all back in the box and wait for P if it was necessary.

So, off I went with my pink handled screw driver.  Step 1.  Step 2.  Step 3....Step 27.  Four hours.

 

DONE!

I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of myself.  I'm not sure why, because it wasn't hard.  I think its just the idea that I can do whatever I want to do.  I am not limited to my day-to-day.  It just really got me thinking about other things that I've been wanting to try and I that I should just TRY. 

My kids are always watching me.  They see most things that I do.  If I constantly play in my comfort zone, they will also remain in their comfort zone.  This little example just reminded me of how important it is to constantly push my limits and show my kids how fun it is to accomplish something new and unusual. 

Decorating is Just Not My Thing

So, I have to be honest.  When I was a little girl, I thought that once I was married and had my own house, I would just naturally have this ability to decorate.  Curtains, rugs, furniture, lamps...ALL OF IT!

Well, unfortunately, my little bubble has been POPPED! 

This is my living room

(plus tan paint)

Now, before you tell me how GENIUS I am in the decorating department (sarcasm), let me tell you something.  Those lamps, those amazingly, beautiful, and unique (again, sarcasm) lamps, yes, they don't work.  Now, to rock your mind a little more...the lamp shades, yea, they are barely balancing on the cross bar.  They are not even properly attached, unless you consider zip-ties proper. 

So, here's my thing.  I need new lamps (one table and one floor) and I need curtains.  Those windows are still completely bare, besides the shades that came with the house.  The problem is that I. STINK. AT. DECORATING! 

I don't even have an idea in my head!  I walk into a store and I go blank (remember my A.D.D. post).  Oh, and I can't spend a ton of money.  Who am I joking, why WOULD I spend a ton of money when I have a 1, 2, and 3 year old to mess them up?!? 

So, do you have any brilliant ideas for me?!?  Suggestions?  Help?!!

Mommy Hormones - Migraines and Moodswings

I wanted to share something that I have recently discovered.  After having my youngest, mini C, I began having 5-8 migraines a month.  I'm talking the kind of migraine where you have no choice but to lay in a dark room with no noise.  They were not something I could tough through and Tylenol, Excedrin, etc did not even TOUCH them. 

In addition to these migraines, I also started experiencing incredible PMS symptoms.  My mood swings were out of this world and there was NOTHING I could do about it.  I am one of the lucky ones who has never really had too many symptoms around that time of the month but, holy macaroni, something had changed.

At one point, my mood swings reached an all time high and I decided to go to the doctor.  I am very lucky to go to a doctor who does not resort straight to birth control.  Instead, she actually looked at my hormones and treated the problem...not the symptom.  She gave me a hormone supplement and off I went.  The first month, my mood swings were immediately better and my migraine's decreased by 2 or 3.  The second month, they were gone...completely and utterly gone.

The point of me telling you this is that we are rarely told to have our hormones checked.  With every baby, your hormones shift and change.  If you are experiencing any symptoms that you have never experienced before and especially if they are affecting your life negatively...GO TO THE DOCTOR!  Ask them not to jump straight to the 'pill' as that does not pinpoint the problem.  If you go in confident that you know what you want, they will listen to you and check your hormones.

We, as women, need to take our hormones very seriously.  They can make or break a day, a week, A LIFE!  I wish hormones were talked about more openly because they really do have huge effect on our bodies and our lives.  Think about it, every month our hormones change dramatically and then, if we get pregnant, we've got a solid 18 months of being out of whack (not to mention nursing!)...THAT'S HUGE! 

Pay attention, acknowledge them, and take control.  It is your body.  Just because we experience so many changes does NOT mean that we can't feel great on a daily basis!

End pep talk ;-)

Living With A.D.D.

What a week!  Sorry for the lack of posts this week!  The doctor put me on a new A.D.D. medication and WOW, it has messed me up!  Yes, I have A.D.D....in a big way!

I was actually diagnosed when I was in third grade.  Back then, I had several days of testing and was then sent to a psychologist that specialized in that arena.  Over the years, in addition to medication, my parents and I worked hard to try and figure out what would work best for me.   Life, as a kid, was always a struggle for me.  NOTHING was easy.  School was hard, social stuff was hard, my home-life was hard...EVERYTHING was hard.  It was quite defeating but my parents were so wonderful about reminding me that I was created for a purpose.  Eventually, I would find my purpose and all of these struggles were helping me become the person that I needed to be when that revelation came.  What amazes me, is that they were right!

Once I graduated college, I stopped taking my medication.  For some reason, I had always equated my A.D.D. to school.  After having little C, I couldn't keep ANYTHING together.  It didn't matter how many lists, calendars, and organizing tools I had, it wasn't working.  It really made me doubt my worth and ability to be a mother and a wife.  In addition to the anxiety I already suffered from, I was more anxious than ever because I couldn't see ANYTHING clearly.  What was wrong with me?

Eventually, I went to the doctor and told them that something was CLEARLY wrong.  I didn't know what it was, but I needed to figure it out.  I couldn't go on like this...I was miserable.  She referred me over to the psychologist to talk about adult A.D.D.  I went to my appointment and spoke to him for all of 10 mintues before he stopped me and said, "Jeanne, I don't even need to test you.  You pass with flying colors.  A.D.D. does not stop when school stops, its about how your brain works.  Let's address this."

I cried.

I cried because I felt embarrassed, I cried because I was relieved that someone was going to help me, and I cried because I felt like I should have known.

We started back on medication and bi-weekly appointments.  He was great because, like I had learned about my learning style when I was younger, he wanted to teach me techniques to manage life that would help me to be successful as an adult.  He also helped me to understand that A.D.D. is not a bad thing, it's part of who I am!  Because of it, I can bring things to the table that many other people can't.

Since then, I have been able to adjust my life to work WITH my A.D.D.  My laundry room, organization of clothes, and cleaning schedule are all examples of ways that I do this.  I try to organize my life in a way that is broken down to begin with so I don't have to break it down as I go.  In addition to this, my husbands support is HUGE.  He knows to take over specific tasks when I get overwhelmed.  If the kitchen or laundry are ever out of control, he will step in and get them back to a manageable place. 

Before I end this post, I just want to say that A.D.D. is a very real thing.  When my husband and I got married, he was of the opinion that it wasn't 'real', just an excuse.  He quickly adjusted his opinion.  If you or somebody you know is ever struggling to understand what it is like, just follow these steps and it will be clear.

1. Get a book, headphones with loud music, a few kids, and a drum.

2. Tell the kids to scream, run, jump, and talk as loudly as they can.

3. Have someone bang on the drum

4. Put on your headphones

5. Start reading

Now, do you remember what you read?  Were you able to focus?

While this is an obvious example, this is daily life.  When I walk into a store, the background music is SO LOUD and I am distracted by the slightest thing.  I do not have the ability to weed this stuff out.  It is SO FRUSTRATING!  Eventually, I will get so overwhelmed by everything that is going on and will just shut down and quit.

So, there you have it.  I was actually not planning on writing about this today, but I guess it was inspired...haha.  I hope this helps someone to understand what its like to live with A.D.D. or helps another mom know that there are others out there who are struggling just as much.  Now you know just a little bit more of my heart...

Mama Recommendation: Scentsy

My friend, Lauren, sells Scentsy.

Because she knows of my aversion to smelly things (I get serious headaches), she never told me about it. 

But, once September hit, I had this incredible desire to have SOMETHING fall smelling in my house.  (It was probably because of all of Lauren's blog posts about making apple cider, fall decorating, and pumpkin pies.) Anyways, I looked into a few different options but didn't try TOO hard.  Finally, I decided to call Lauren and ask her about scentsy.  My biggest concern was my headaches and I wanted to know if there were any scents that were either very mild or could be controlled. 

I was DELIGHTED when she told me that you could use as much or as little of the wax therefore controlling the strength of the aroma.  So, after she told me, much to my surprise, how incredibly affordable scentsy is, I decided to try it out and buy one. 

Enchanted Mid-Size Warmer with the Pumpkin Roll Scent

Isn't it pretty?  It looks so pretty on my kitchen counter!

Anyways, for those of you who don't know how it works, here's a little run down.  Scentsy uses ZERO fire.  It is not a candle (very child friendly).  Instead, the light you see coming through the holes is from a lightbulb.  You place your wax bar on the plate on top, turn it on, watch the wax melt, and fill your home/office/whatever with a wonderful smell!  What is amazing is that in order to get another scent, you don't have to buy another warmer, just pay $5 for the new scent block, AND THATS IT!  AMAZING!

So, I HIGHLY recommend scentsy.  I can't tell you how excited I am to order my Christmas Tree Scent for Christmas...WOOHOO!  If I didn't already have my Christmas gifts, I know quite a few sister-in-laws, mothers, and grandmothers who would be recieving one of these.  I. LOVE. IT.

Hop on over to Laurens Scentsy page and check it out!
www.laurenbecker.scentsy.com
Checkout through Lauren Beckers party.

I can tell you now, if you buy from her, you are supporting a military wife who is preggo with baby boy #2.  Seriously, she's the kind of girl you want to support! 

If you want to read more about Lauren, her family, and her style, this is her blog: www.itsbeckerstyle.com

Have a great fall weekend!

I Will Never Understand...

Just over 4 months ago, one of my dear friends was killed by the father of her children.  There is no denying that their relationship was not healthy but she had left him, was back in school, and the kids were happy.  While he was always in the back of everybody's mind, we were so proud of what she was accomplishing.  She was finally moving on.

For some reason, he felt it necessary to take her life during a custody swap.  While I understand that he was/is unstable, it just doesn't make sense.  I have no understanding of how a person can drive to a place for the purpose of taking the life of another...his children's MOTHER at that! 

Shannon was one of the most joyful people I have ever known.  Over the course of their relationship, she dealt with some crazy stuff but we NEVER heard her speak badly of him.  She prayed for him CONSTANTLY and she respected him as the father of her children.

Her funeral was, by far, one of the most stunning experiences I have ever had.  There were over 1000 people in attendance.  I clearly remember watching her casket passing my pew.  It just did not compute.  How could one of MY friends be gone just like that.  That COULDN'T be Shannon's body in there.  How?

Over time, the sting has dulled but there are still those days that get me.  Usually, it's when I am least expecting it but most needing it.  Today, it has hit me like a brick wall.  The anticipation of tomorrows court date is overwhelming.  The thought that people who do not love Shannon as we do are going to decide the fate of the man who killed her.

  I'm angry. I'm aggrevated that he gets to be defended.  More than anything, I miss her.  It is in these moments that I hear Shannon perfectly.  She just wants me to pray.  For him.  For the judge.  For everybody who is involved in this thing.  When I let her into my heart, she brings a peace, but with that peace, I can no longer be mad.  For me, thats a hard thing to give up.  It makes me feel like I am somewhat in control.

So, even though I may be struggling to get there, I ask you to please pray.  Pray for Shannon's family, her children, and her friends and family.  Pray for the judge, the lawyers, and the jurors.  And because I know Shannon would have it no other way,

pray for him.

One of my friends, Natalie, made this video shortly after she died.  It has helped me a lot, especially in my moments of anger. 

So, readers, meet Shannon.  She was SUCH a cool girl.

www.thebusybudgetingmama.com

Wise Words

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
--Steve Jobs

You Can Call Me 'The Fruit Fly Killer'

Fruit Flies.  I HATE fruit flies.

For some reason, I have had this crazy infestation of fruit flies for the last month.  I have no idea why.  I have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned.  All dirty diapers go outside immediately.  I have swept like a crazy woman.  I have been wiping down the counter and table after every meal.  EVERYTHING!

Still...they continued to annoy me day in and day out.

Yesterday, I had it!  I was going to conquer these things even if I had to run around my house with a spray bottle spraying every last little wing...I was going to win!

So, yesterday, in my crazed fury, I googled it.  Yes, you heard me, I GOOGLED it...DUH!!!

So this is what I learned. 

Get small bowl and add a cup of apple cider vinegar and few drops of dish soap

Now, sit back, and wait for them to...well, you know...drown.

This was after an hour and a half.  AMAZING!

Happy Fruit Fly Killing!