I haven't written anything about the New Year yet. I've tried. My words just weren't coming together. I couldn't get myself together this week and I didn't know why. Now, at 11:30pm on Thursday night, I am starting to figure it out.
2011 was tough!
Let's recap:
*Started 2011 with all of my children being sick for 6 weeks.
*Mini-C was Baptized by Fr. E
*Attended Fr. E's first home Mass and Reception
*Prepare for deployment
*Visited the hubs family in New Hampshire
*Took a weekend trip with P
*Deployment
*My friend, Shannon, was murdered
*My dear neighbor, Mel, passed away
*Deployment
*Took the kids to visit my parents in Atlanta
*Earthquake located 20 miles from my home
*Minor melt-down
*Deployment
*Best friend had first baby who ended up in the NICU
*Lost 33 lbs
*P came home from deployment
*Everything that goes along with the homecoming and readjustment
*Thanksgiving
*Visit to New Hampshire
*Christmas
*My other best friend has her second baby who also ends up in the NICU
*New Years
As I struggle to put one foot in front of the other this week, I couldn't figure out if it was hormones, a thyroid issue, or if I was just relaxing in anticipation of P and I's week long cruise starting this weekend. Now, as I lay awake, I realize that I've never let down after this year. I keep trying to focus on what I've learned and how I've grown but I haven't stepped back to acknowledge the fact that it was a tough one and I SHOULD be tired.
I struggle to put a cap on last year because I scared that I will forget. I don't want to leave Shannon behind. I don't want to move on from my brother's ordination and first Mass. I'm scared that I'll forget all of the lessons that I learned while P was gone and more importantly that I will take for granted the fact that he's home. It's so easy to go backwards and get comfortable but this year was far too profitable for that to happen. I'm just not sure how to categorize it and bring it into the new year as an asset instead of baggage. So much happened that I wasn't able to really process any of it!
Maybe 'feeling' it isn't at all what I need. Maybe this is one of those times where I am supposed to just hand it all over. I've lived it all to the best of my ability. Now, it's time for me to walk away carrying all of my triumphs and bruises having confidence in the fact that there is someone in far more control than me. He knows. He knows whats to come and why I needed such a 'crash course' kind of a year. He'll let me know when it's time but for now, I can move on. There's no need to hold on to any of it.
I am being given the opportunity to rest and relax with my wonderful husband next week. It's time to recharge my battery, regroup as a team, and come back ready to tackle 2012.
Happy New Year, friends! I'm excited to see what it holds.
As I struggle to put one foot in front of the other this week, I couldn't figure out if it was hormones, a thyroid issue, or if I was just relaxing in anticipation of P and I's week long cruise starting this weekend. Now, as I lay awake, I realize that I've never let down after this year. I keep trying to focus on what I've learned and how I've grown but I haven't stepped back to acknowledge the fact that it was a tough one and I SHOULD be tired.
I struggle to put a cap on last year because I scared that I will forget. I don't want to leave Shannon behind. I don't want to move on from my brother's ordination and first Mass. I'm scared that I'll forget all of the lessons that I learned while P was gone and more importantly that I will take for granted the fact that he's home. It's so easy to go backwards and get comfortable but this year was far too profitable for that to happen. I'm just not sure how to categorize it and bring it into the new year as an asset instead of baggage. So much happened that I wasn't able to really process any of it!
Maybe 'feeling' it isn't at all what I need. Maybe this is one of those times where I am supposed to just hand it all over. I've lived it all to the best of my ability. Now, it's time for me to walk away carrying all of my triumphs and bruises having confidence in the fact that there is someone in far more control than me. He knows. He knows whats to come and why I needed such a 'crash course' kind of a year. He'll let me know when it's time but for now, I can move on. There's no need to hold on to any of it.
I am being given the opportunity to rest and relax with my wonderful husband next week. It's time to recharge my battery, regroup as a team, and come back ready to tackle 2012.
Happy New Year, friends! I'm excited to see what it holds.
WOW - this is such a great idea, and a wonderful way to see how God is constantly working in your life through triumph and tragedy!
ReplyDeleteP.S. we are going on the exact same cruise as yall! Any excursions you can suggestion? (disclaimer - we both have asthma, so snorkeling/scuba aren't the best activities for us ha!)