Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree!

As the Christmas season begins, the buzz amongst mom's seems to be,

"How do I keep the baby/toddler from the Christmas Tree."

When my oldest was a baby, P and I considered all of the obvious possibilities.  Should be put the glass ones on top?  Should we buy a little tree and put it on a table?  Or what about surrounding it with a play pen?  As we were trying to figure out what to do, we finally just looked at each other and realized that we were making something out of nothing.  

Even at 1 year old, he could handle a lot more than not touching the tree...so we decided to teach him.  Christmas would come every year, he was going to have to learn at some point.

Just like with most things, it took about 3 days of consistent reminders and distraction for him to lose interest.  Little C was the exact same and Mini C could care less. 

Now that the older two are toddlers, they know the rules.  They also know that with rules comes rewards and consequences.  Those rewards (Santa coming) and consequences are laid out when we decorate the house.  We also bought them a this absolutely annoying cute singing stocking that hangs in the playroom.  They know that they CAN touch and play with that.  So, when their fingers are feeling particularly needy for something Christmas...that's where we head!

So, this Christmas, I encourage you to decorate as you normally would.  Use it as a teaching opportunity.  Give them the opportunity to be proud of themselves when they listen.  Definitely worth every teaching moment!

  

Happily Ever After...

If you haven't read Part I , Part II, or Part III, check it out before reading this post. Nobody like a spoiled ending!

When I was a little girl, I never wanted to be a doctor, banker, or ballerina.  My dream was clear.  At a very young age, I knew that I wanted to be a wife and mother (of 12 to be exact).  As crazy as it sounds, I daydreamed about driving a 15 passenger van, doing the laundry, and having dinner on the table when my husband came home from work.  I have no idea where that dream came from but it is clearly written on my heart.

When P and I met all those years ago, I had found the other piece of my puzzle.  Whether you call it a gut feeling, inspiration of the Holy Spirit, or just plain intuition, I knew he was the one.   I had fought for his heart since the day we met. I refused to settle for anything less than who I knew he was created to be and I refused to let myself by tarnished by fear, temptations, and outside pressures. 

When he proposed, it was like hitting the last mile of a marathon. We were almost there. Our forever was about to begin.  We had no idea where this life was going to take us but we knew that we were up for the adventure as long as we were together.

When our big day came, we were ready.  Besides the dress, the party, and our loved ones, we were ready to be married.  We stood in awe that this was our reality.  How is it possible for two teenagers, from opposite parts of the country, to meet, keep in touch, and then eventually get married.  It was crazy! 

We had so much fun at our wedding!  We laughed, we cried, we danced, and enjoyed the company of our family and friends.  The knowledge that the dating, the distance, the phone calls, and the traveling were over was almost surreal.  At the end of the day, I was going to get in the car with P and we were going to fly out TOGETHER. 

Our happily ever after had come true.  We had a plan.  Little did we know that in the first year of our marriage we'd have a deployment, a pregnancy, and a move to Naples, Italy...not exactly what one would call the 'honeymoon' stage.

A Celebratory GIVEAWAY!

The week before P came home, I planned a 'Thank You Mom's Night Out' for my friends who had helped me during deployment.  I knew that I wanted to give them a sweet treat of thanks but considering my incredible lack of creativity, I was stumped with the presentation. 

And then I remembered, I am friends with one of the most creative girls around!!! 

My friend, Natalie, The Busy Budgeting Mama, is the queen of cute! 

In addition to running her blog, Natalie has an Etsy shop, The Pretty Paperie Printables, where she sells the CUTEST printables.  Everything from treat bag tags to custom party packs to cupcake toppers.

So, within 24 hours of calling Natalie for suggestions for my thank you pretzel M&M's, I had my very own printables sitting in my inbox.

They were quite the hit at our Mom's Night Out so I wanted to share them with you!

Natalie was gracious enough to agree to GIVE AWAY one printable of your choice (excluding party packages) to one of my awesome readers!

So, you have two ways to enter this giveaway!

1. Leave a comment below explaining which printable you would choose and why! 

and/or

2. Share this giveaway by pressing one of the share options below (facebook, twitter, blog, etc.).  Make sure you let me know if you shared it!

If you don't have a google profile, make sure to leave your e-mail address in your comment!

This giveaway will end on December 8th at 11:59pm.

Natalie also has a Cyber Monday deal going on today so make sure to check it out!

Good Luck!

The Homecoming

About 2 months ago, a friend of mine suggested that I hire a photographer to capture P's homecoming.  I was a little standoffish at first but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that these were pictures that we would probably treasure forever and I'd rather be present during these moments rather than trying to take pictures.  So, the decision was made and now I have pictures to show you!  :-)

The days leading up to P's homecoming were similar to the days leading up to his leaving.  They were full of anxieties, excitements, nerves, LONG lists of things to do, and many errands.  It was a surreal feeling preparing for something that seemed like it would never happen.  I was nervous about the kids response to their dad, the adjustment back to being a family, and the adjustment back to being a team and a wife.  Life was about to flip upside down...AGAIN.

I have to say, I feel like I did a good job during those days.  I tried to get my list of things to do done during nap times/pre-school/etc. and have fun things ready for us to do together.  I spent a good bit of time sitting with Little P, my sensitive little boy, looking at pictures of other daddy's coming home just so he would know that it would be okay if he laughed, cried, was shy, etc.  He has a tendency to get anxious and then melt down so I wanted to alleviate that as much as possible.

The day before, we spent some time making our signs and talking about how the next morning would go.  Once they went to bed, I adjusted their 'Countdown to Daddy' and their 'Kisses from Daddy' Jar so they had other points of excitement once they woke up.

It was set, we were all ready!  After good nights sleep, it was game time!  His flight was landing around 9:45am so I had to hustle.  I had a babysitter come over so I had a second set of hands and, oh my goodness, that was the best $20 I've ever spent!  She was such a help and got the kids fed, bathed, and dressed.  I was also able to get dressed without toddlers at my toes. 

And then, it was time.  It was 8:45, time to go! 

Once I started driving, that's when it hit me.  We were really doing this.  I fought tears the whole way.  I kept trying to talk and laugh with the kids but that lump in my throat just wouldn't go away.  Once we got there, I got everybody inside and this is what happened:

It was in this moment that Catherine looked at me and said, "MOMMY, I need to go potty!!!"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!  So off we ran...to the BOYS bathroom.  Hey, it was the closest one and we were in a hurry!

 

I will never forget the first time I spotted him...it was SURREAL!

 

A little unsure of the situation, Little C ran back to me just to check in.

Mini-C finally seeing that man from the computer...

I finally got my kiss...

 

Daddy showing little C that he still had the pocket photo book

we made for him before he left.

I couldn't have asked for a better homecoming.  It was crazy to walk out to the car and sit in the passenger seat.  We were done, it was over.  Our daddy is home!

We're a Team Again!

The last 10 days have surprised me.  I knew that we had an adjustment coming, but I thought it was more in relation to our children.  I thought I'd be playing the middle man and trying to help P get back into the routine.  Little did I know that I would be the one that needed the most adjustment.

My husband and I approach our life as a team.  We always say that it doesn't matter what comes our way, as long as we're together, we can handle it.  We have this strange way of motivating each other and being on the same page.  We talk things to DEATH.  We are very up front an honest about what our thoughts and we have learned the best methods for effective communication. 

With all of this being said, I figured that we would just jump right back into it when he came home.  For the most part, we did.  He was ready be my teammate again and continue down the same road.  For some reason, it was as if we were just barely missing the beat.  The best way to describe it would be if you were clapping to a beat and your partner was just miliseconds too late on every clap.  Still the same but not quite.

Somewhere in the last few days, we were able to find our rhythm.  We're working in unison, having fun, laughing, and enjoying the company of each other and our children.  It's amazing the peace that it brings.

Experiencing this really got me thinking about how working as a team with your spouse really does bring an intimacy into your family.  Without it, there is something missing.  It's just not quite right.  I love that at 6:30AM on Black Friday, I could make the spur of the moment decision to do our Christmas shopping and know that he can not only run everything here but also get everybody to the parade to meet me by 9:30.  I don't have to explain anything, I don't have to leave instructions, he just knows...after 10 days.  When I saw him walk up with all three kids, I could have cried.  It was the moment when I knew that the pressure was off me and we were a team again.  We work together for the common-good of our family and have a GREAT time doing it!

Cheers to being done!

Make sure to come back on Monday for the homecoming pictures/story and a GIVEAWAY!  And then Tuesday, we're back to normal life.  Thanks for sticking with me through this week!  I hope ya'll had a great Thanksgiving!

3 Lessons Learned

I am so thankful for P's deployment.  As difficult as it may have been,

I. LEARNED. SO. MUCH!

If I were to write out EVERYTHING that I have learned, it would take HOURS to read this post so I decided to stick to the top 3.  So, here they are:

1. I have ridiculous expectations

In August, I had a minor mental/emotional breakdown.  I had been chugging along doing my thing but between the death of my two friends and then the earthquake, it became completely clear that in the grand scheme of things, I have absolutely no control.  For someone who had gotten tired and was barely hanging on...I lost it.

Thankfully, I have the best parents in the world and it took all of 3 seconds of skyping for them to hop in the truck to come to my rescue.  My parents brought the older two to their house for about 10 days and I was given the opportunity to get my act together. 

During this time, I realized that the expectations that I had put on myself were absolutely unrealistic.  I learned that having a completely clean house, folded laundry, and home made dinner on the table at night does NOT make me a good mom.  I had never adjusted my expectations from being a two parent household to a one parent household and I was trying to do it all.  It didn't work.  I needed to address my expectations.

2. Kids are so much more capable than we allow.

I think most would agree that every generation before has some laundry list of things that they had to do that kids 'nowadays' don't.  While I am sure that is true, what I realized is that its not just that kids don't do them, its that we don't allow them to because we're scared.  My three year old does the dishes...seriously.  If I hadn't been upstairs when he first tried, I would have never known.  I started realizing that as moms, we just do everything for our kids before seeing what they are capable of.

Being a single parent for a time, I needed the help.  So, about halfway through, I started challenging them.  I'd give them tasks (not expecting perfection or even success) just to see what they were capable of.  I knew to stay close but the pride on their faces when they tried something new was priceless.  What I learned was that these children are SO MUCH MORE capable that we give them credit for! 

In our day and age, we tend to parent out of fear.  There are so many statistics telling us about the dangers, that we don't ever doubt them to look at the possible greater good in doing what is difficult.  I have been forever changed.  I am happier and, more importantly, THEY are happier.

3. Being Straight Forward Is the Best Policy.

While this lesson applies to all arena's of life, I learned that the more straight forward and specific I was, with my kids, the better.  For instance, I learned to lay out my expectations/rewards/consequences of their behavior before getting out of the car at the grocery store.  Once I started TELLING them what I was looking for, grocery shopping became SO much simpler.  I started breaking our day down so they knew what I was expecting and I knew what they were expecting.  It made life SO MUCH SIMPLER.

So these are the top three that are in my head right now.  I am sure I will talk to a friend, my mom, or somebody who will remind me of another big lesson, but for now, this is it!  Maybe I'll continue this list, who knows.

Things are going well around here.  Kids are happy, I am more rested (and therefore happy), and P is just happy to be home!  It's nice to see the kids adapt to him so easily.  We've agreed that it's not that we can't believe he's home, rather we can't believe that the 6.5 months ever happened.

I also wanted to let you know that if you have any questions, feel free to ask.  Every time I talk to friends, they seem to have tons and I don't mind answering any of your curiosities.

Have a great day!

Finding Common Ground

I'm exhausted.  My emotions are just barely under the surface just waiting to come out.  I am overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and irritable.  One would think that when your spouse comes home, life would get easier.  The physical aspect of my day has gotten easier but the emotional side has spun out of control. 

I remember the day that P left, I felt so empowered.  I felt like I was superwoman ready to conquer the world!  I was going to shatter any doubts that people had in our ability to succeed during the next 6.5 months.

What I didn't know was that I was going to have a good friend murdered, another friend pass away, and an earthquake.  P and I went to dinner the other night and for the first time, I got to tell him, face to face, about Shannon's funeral.  What it was like to receive that call.  The sucker punch that I felt that night.  I told him about watching her casket pass by my pew as I imagined my friend laying in that box.  I told him about her brother's eulogy as he so painfully stood up to tell us about his little sister and how thankful I was that my big brother was there to hold my hand.  I told him about watching one of my dearest friends carry her to her resting place and how we stood at her grave until she was covered with dirt.  He saw my tears for the first time.

What was crazy was that in that moment, his eyes showed the same pain as he told me,

"I know, Jeanne, I know." 

He lost his own friends in Afghanistan.  He watched as pure evil took the life of his friend who would soon become a father.  What do you say in that moment?  P knew the pain that would be injected upon that his family within hours and all he could was sit there with it.

As glamorous as the homecoming is, it is hard.  It is very hard.  I go back and forth between pure joy and confusion.  With confusion comes a great deal of guilt.  Why am I not over the moon and happy all the time???  I feel lost in my own world trying to grasp some sense of control.  I feel disconnected from the man who is trying so hard to live up to every possible expectation.  I am trying to figure it out but I feel like I am sinking.  I know with time, we will get back into a groove, but for now, I will just be thankful for those moments of connection between us.  Those times when we can find common ground between the independent lives that we have been leading.