A Celebratory GIVEAWAY!

The week before P came home, I planned a 'Thank You Mom's Night Out' for my friends who had helped me during deployment.  I knew that I wanted to give them a sweet treat of thanks but considering my incredible lack of creativity, I was stumped with the presentation. 

And then I remembered, I am friends with one of the most creative girls around!!! 

My friend, Natalie, The Busy Budgeting Mama, is the queen of cute! 

In addition to running her blog, Natalie has an Etsy shop, The Pretty Paperie Printables, where she sells the CUTEST printables.  Everything from treat bag tags to custom party packs to cupcake toppers.

So, within 24 hours of calling Natalie for suggestions for my thank you pretzel M&M's, I had my very own printables sitting in my inbox.

They were quite the hit at our Mom's Night Out so I wanted to share them with you!

Natalie was gracious enough to agree to GIVE AWAY one printable of your choice (excluding party packages) to one of my awesome readers!

So, you have two ways to enter this giveaway!

1. Leave a comment below explaining which printable you would choose and why! 

and/or

2. Share this giveaway by pressing one of the share options below (facebook, twitter, blog, etc.).  Make sure you let me know if you shared it!

If you don't have a google profile, make sure to leave your e-mail address in your comment!

This giveaway will end on December 8th at 11:59pm.

Natalie also has a Cyber Monday deal going on today so make sure to check it out!

Good Luck!

The Homecoming

About 2 months ago, a friend of mine suggested that I hire a photographer to capture P's homecoming.  I was a little standoffish at first but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that these were pictures that we would probably treasure forever and I'd rather be present during these moments rather than trying to take pictures.  So, the decision was made and now I have pictures to show you!  :-)

The days leading up to P's homecoming were similar to the days leading up to his leaving.  They were full of anxieties, excitements, nerves, LONG lists of things to do, and many errands.  It was a surreal feeling preparing for something that seemed like it would never happen.  I was nervous about the kids response to their dad, the adjustment back to being a family, and the adjustment back to being a team and a wife.  Life was about to flip upside down...AGAIN.

I have to say, I feel like I did a good job during those days.  I tried to get my list of things to do done during nap times/pre-school/etc. and have fun things ready for us to do together.  I spent a good bit of time sitting with Little P, my sensitive little boy, looking at pictures of other daddy's coming home just so he would know that it would be okay if he laughed, cried, was shy, etc.  He has a tendency to get anxious and then melt down so I wanted to alleviate that as much as possible.

The day before, we spent some time making our signs and talking about how the next morning would go.  Once they went to bed, I adjusted their 'Countdown to Daddy' and their 'Kisses from Daddy' Jar so they had other points of excitement once they woke up.

It was set, we were all ready!  After good nights sleep, it was game time!  His flight was landing around 9:45am so I had to hustle.  I had a babysitter come over so I had a second set of hands and, oh my goodness, that was the best $20 I've ever spent!  She was such a help and got the kids fed, bathed, and dressed.  I was also able to get dressed without toddlers at my toes. 

And then, it was time.  It was 8:45, time to go! 

Once I started driving, that's when it hit me.  We were really doing this.  I fought tears the whole way.  I kept trying to talk and laugh with the kids but that lump in my throat just wouldn't go away.  Once we got there, I got everybody inside and this is what happened:

It was in this moment that Catherine looked at me and said, "MOMMY, I need to go potty!!!"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!  So off we ran...to the BOYS bathroom.  Hey, it was the closest one and we were in a hurry!

 

I will never forget the first time I spotted him...it was SURREAL!

 

A little unsure of the situation, Little C ran back to me just to check in.

Mini-C finally seeing that man from the computer...

I finally got my kiss...

 

Daddy showing little C that he still had the pocket photo book

we made for him before he left.

I couldn't have asked for a better homecoming.  It was crazy to walk out to the car and sit in the passenger seat.  We were done, it was over.  Our daddy is home!

We're a Team Again!

The last 10 days have surprised me.  I knew that we had an adjustment coming, but I thought it was more in relation to our children.  I thought I'd be playing the middle man and trying to help P get back into the routine.  Little did I know that I would be the one that needed the most adjustment.

My husband and I approach our life as a team.  We always say that it doesn't matter what comes our way, as long as we're together, we can handle it.  We have this strange way of motivating each other and being on the same page.  We talk things to DEATH.  We are very up front an honest about what our thoughts and we have learned the best methods for effective communication. 

With all of this being said, I figured that we would just jump right back into it when he came home.  For the most part, we did.  He was ready be my teammate again and continue down the same road.  For some reason, it was as if we were just barely missing the beat.  The best way to describe it would be if you were clapping to a beat and your partner was just miliseconds too late on every clap.  Still the same but not quite.

Somewhere in the last few days, we were able to find our rhythm.  We're working in unison, having fun, laughing, and enjoying the company of each other and our children.  It's amazing the peace that it brings.

Experiencing this really got me thinking about how working as a team with your spouse really does bring an intimacy into your family.  Without it, there is something missing.  It's just not quite right.  I love that at 6:30AM on Black Friday, I could make the spur of the moment decision to do our Christmas shopping and know that he can not only run everything here but also get everybody to the parade to meet me by 9:30.  I don't have to explain anything, I don't have to leave instructions, he just knows...after 10 days.  When I saw him walk up with all three kids, I could have cried.  It was the moment when I knew that the pressure was off me and we were a team again.  We work together for the common-good of our family and have a GREAT time doing it!

Cheers to being done!

Make sure to come back on Monday for the homecoming pictures/story and a GIVEAWAY!  And then Tuesday, we're back to normal life.  Thanks for sticking with me through this week!  I hope ya'll had a great Thanksgiving!

Finding Common Ground

I'm exhausted.  My emotions are just barely under the surface just waiting to come out.  I am overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and irritable.  One would think that when your spouse comes home, life would get easier.  The physical aspect of my day has gotten easier but the emotional side has spun out of control. 

I remember the day that P left, I felt so empowered.  I felt like I was superwoman ready to conquer the world!  I was going to shatter any doubts that people had in our ability to succeed during the next 6.5 months.

What I didn't know was that I was going to have a good friend murdered, another friend pass away, and an earthquake.  P and I went to dinner the other night and for the first time, I got to tell him, face to face, about Shannon's funeral.  What it was like to receive that call.  The sucker punch that I felt that night.  I told him about watching her casket pass by my pew as I imagined my friend laying in that box.  I told him about her brother's eulogy as he so painfully stood up to tell us about his little sister and how thankful I was that my big brother was there to hold my hand.  I told him about watching one of my dearest friends carry her to her resting place and how we stood at her grave until she was covered with dirt.  He saw my tears for the first time.

What was crazy was that in that moment, his eyes showed the same pain as he told me,

"I know, Jeanne, I know." 

He lost his own friends in Afghanistan.  He watched as pure evil took the life of his friend who would soon become a father.  What do you say in that moment?  P knew the pain that would be injected upon that his family within hours and all he could was sit there with it.

As glamorous as the homecoming is, it is hard.  It is very hard.  I go back and forth between pure joy and confusion.  With confusion comes a great deal of guilt.  Why am I not over the moon and happy all the time???  I feel lost in my own world trying to grasp some sense of control.  I feel disconnected from the man who is trying so hard to live up to every possible expectation.  I am trying to figure it out but I feel like I am sinking.  I know with time, we will get back into a groove, but for now, I will just be thankful for those moments of connection between us.  Those times when we can find common ground between the independent lives that we have been leading.

Preparing for Deployment

Over the last several months, many people have stated that they 'couldn't even imagine' doing what we've done.  I'll start from the very beginning and move forward throughout this week.  I can only speak for myself but, in general, I think most of my words will apply to the majority of the military/deploying world. 

My husband, who is now a civilian defense contractor, feels a calling to defend his country. He takes pride in what he does and he believes in the founding premise of what it means to be an American. He is willing to defend that premise to those who attack it. 

When I married my husband, I agreed to support and encourage him in his vocation. Just like all military and deploying defense contractor families, this vocation is not one that is carried by just one. It is carried by all. But it is carried with such pride that the load is bearable.  We are working for a cause, something that we believe in.

So, when our spouses tell us that there is a deployment on the horizon, we all do the same thing...we start preparing.  There is no time to pity ourselves, there is no time to wonder how we are going to do it...we just know that it has to be done so we'll do it. 

We found out about P's deploy date about 3 months prior.  I knew that it was on the horizon but just didn't know WHEN it was going to be.  So, when we finally got the date, I, 4 weeks postpartum, knew that the first thing that we needed to handle was to get Mini-C into a routine.  There was no way that I would be able to handle 3 kids under 3 if I had a baby who was completely unpredictable.  After that, we just started making lists. 

'Things to get done' lists

'Things to buy' lists

'People to contact' lists

'Stuff to research' lists

You name it, we had a list for it.  We organized and re-organized the whole house.  I had my 'handy-woman' book out with the tool kit P had prepared for me.  Both cars were checked out and ready to go.  Our Will was in the safe.  We had everything ready and organized.

For the kids, I made a countdown calendar, a 'kisses from daddy' jar, P recorded a book a week on video, and he took the kids to Build-A-Bear to make their 'daddy bears' (a bear with a recording in the paw from daddy).

Besides all of the physical preparations, I was also mentally and emotionally preparing myself. I had to be in a state where failure was not an option. I had to have my game face on and be ready to take on the challenge.  I couldn't allow those moments of doubt creep into my head because doubt wasn't going to get me anywhere.  Even more, I had to be in enough control that my husband was not going to worry about us.  I have to say, that was a heavy load to carry.

I had my nights of waking up in sheer panic and my absolute emotional breaks.  I had my times of falling into my husbands arms crying because I just didn't want to do this.  At one point, I BEGGED him to get a different job.  I thought all of the same things that everybody around me thought, I just couldn't dwell on them.

So there we were, prepared as we were ever going to be.  What people didn't see were the tears that flowed when I actually thought about what we were embarking on.  What they didn't see was the fear that was trying to take over my body.  What they didn't see was the paralyzing fear that something could happen to my husband.

But, May 6th came and we didn't shed a tear.  I was ready to stand by my husbands side as he set off to do what he was called to do.  We were doing this for a cause, right?

Post Deployment Weekends are the BEST!

Happy Weekend!  I hope ya'll have a great one and enjoy spending time with your friends and family!

My first giveaway ends tomorrow at noon so make sure to register!  There are SIX different options for entry!

Thank you again for all of your love and support over the last few days.  I have LOVED reading all of your messages and will respond as soon as I can!

Make sure to check back on Monday for more 'behind the scenes' stories on the deployment and subsequent homecoming.  There may even be a guest post from my husband...:-). 

Unless I have some incredible inspiration to write, I'll see you on Monday.  I'm off to spend more time with my family...and sleep!

HE'S HOME!!!!!



The Next Day...

It is currently 5:33AM and my brain is running wild trying to comprehend the last few days.  The kids are sleeping, my husband is finally in his own bed, the house is dark, and here I sit in my chair typing my heart out.

I am completely humbled by the words of my friends, family, followers, but most of all, my sister-in-law.  Reading her post allowed me to feel, for the first time, the feat that I have conquered.  You see, when you are faced with a deployment, out of survival, you have to stand up and act like it's no big deal.  It's just life.  If you bend to your fears, you won't make it.  What you are doing is so unnatural it's hard to ignore.  So, since May 6th, I chugged along, doing what I needed to do.  People would comment but I couldn't let myself hear it.  On Wednesday  night, I heard it and I appreciated it (and yes, I cried). 

I feel like I should have a great cry just to signify the end.  We're finished.  He's home.  Yesterday, I sat on the couch with my husband fighting that 'tough' facade.   How do you turn it off?  How do I go back to being the protected vs. the protector?  For the last 6 1/2 months, I have been the one to handle EVERYTHING.  I know the kids quirks, their fears, their likes.  I've set the alarm every night knowing that if anything happened in the night, I'd handle it.  All of the sudden, that's over.  I can relax...but I can't.

My shoulders are still tight.  My brain still running rampant.  I feel like I have a new life to learn.  None of us will ever be the same as we were before he left because we grew and experienced so much.  How do I find the 'new normal'?

More than anything, I recognize my husband grasping to gain control.  Not in a powerful way, but as a dad, as a husband, as a protector.  He doesn't know how the potty works.  He doesn't know our night time routine.  He doesn't even know the words of our night prayers.  Last night, as he tried to take over baths, he finally looked at me as said, "I don't know how this works.  What do you do next?"  My heart hurt as I saw his stressed eyes, trying to do what was normal but not even knowing what that looked like.

So, here I sit, the day about to start, preparing myself for change but hoping for normalcy.  With time, I'm sure these kinks will be worked out and we'll find our rhythm but for now, I am so thankful to be able to hug my husband and have someone to hold the kids other hand when we say the blessing at the dinner table.

He's Home!!!

This day has been absolutely surreal.

I'll write our complete homecoming story when I get our professional pictures but it has been awesome.  All of my fears about the kids being hesitant vanished as they ran to their daddy.  Mini C even took her first steps!!!

It really was an awesome day that has ranged in emotion.  I'm glad its behind us and that we get to adjust back into life as a family.

The next week will be dedicated to deployment/homecoming stuff.  I'll do my best to give you a 'behind the scenes' of what life has been like leading up to today.

Stay tuned for picture overload!