The REST of the Story...

Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV

 Before we got engaged, we knew that P was up for new military orders.  This meant that he could either get out of the Navy or we could move after his next deployment.  It wasn't a difficult decision for him to stay in, the difficult decision was where to move. 

Within hours of looking at our list of options, we had pretty much made up our mind.  We were ready for adventure and we wanted the challenge...

We were moving to NAPLES, ITALY!

Visiting P in Japan

Before we got to Italy, though, we had to handle yet another deployment.  So, five weeks after being married, I watched as P's plane took him away from me...again.  It seemed like it was never ending.  Were we EVER going to be together???

Upon his return, we had so much to look forward to!  Finally, we would get to 'be married', we were moving to Italy, and we were going to travel!  As excited as we were about our adventure, our excitement turned to great fear when we found out that I was pregnant just two weeks after his return.  Now, THAT was not in the plan.

We wanted kids.  We actually wanted a large family.  We had just planned to wait about a year before moving on to kids.  Immediately, all of my excitement about moving was GONE.  All I could think about was having a baby without any family and friends.  I didn't want to leave them.  I cried and cried but eventually, after getting reassurance from my mom that she would be there, I finally went back to looking forward to the experiences that were to come.

Little did we know that this was the first of many growing pains.  God wanted us to realize our potential and we had just given Him PRIME opportunity to do that.

We moved to Naples in December of 2007.  On April 7, 2008, P and I became parents.  My mom lived up to her word...she was there.  Once my mom left, just 5 days after Little P's birth, it was time to buckle down.  This wasn't a dream, this wasn't going to change, we could either take advantage of the opportunity to live overseas or it would be a waste of our time.

It didn't take long for us to realize that we were learning priceless lessons.  Being so far from family and friends, we could only depend on each other.  We didn't have parents to save us when we were tired or we could run to when we weren't seeing eye to eye.  We had to figure it out between the two of us.  We had to learn how to effectively communicate, how to address our own shortcomings for the greater good of our marriage, and how to push ourselves beyond our comfort levels.  We were also given the opportunity to really figure out what we wanted for OUR family.  We couldn't come back to the States for Holidays so they were what we made them.  It really made us get down to business and see what traditions were really important to us and how we could put them together for our family. 

Moreover, we were given the opportunity to really figure out the simplest way to run our day to day life as parents.  We were not going to stop traveling or exploring, we just needed to figure out how to do with with babies. 

About to get on the airplane to visit family in the States

Oh yes, I forgot to mention, after having my wisdom teeth out when Little P was six months old, I got pregnant with Little C.  A word to the wise, narcotics really mess with your cycle (and if you are on birth control, they mess with that too).  So, now we had two kids...both 15 months and under.

As a wife and mother, I was pushed harder than I ever had been.  P was working 14 hour days and had a rotating shift.  This left me to handle everything and I am so thankful it did.  In those three years I realized how capable I am.  A family of four traveling back to the states for 3 weeks...NO PROBLEM!  Your bringing the new guys home for dinner in two hours...I've got it!  We want to go to Greece...I'll plan it!  The more I embraced my vocation as a wife and mother, the more grateful I was for my husband.  Because he was working so hard, we were getting to do all of these things but he was also giving me the opportunity to prove to myself that I could handle it.  I was capable. 

By the end of our time in Italy, we were honestly able to say that we were given the opportunity of a lifetime.  It taught us how to be a team, how to 'date', and how capable we are.  It pinpointed those places where, instead of helping each other, we were enabling each other.  It showed us where we needed to toughen up and where we needed to lighten up.  It didn't allow us to wallow in fear...we had to face it.

Greece February 2010

In three short years of marriage, we walked away with 15 years worth of lessons and three beautiful children (oh, did I forget to mention that I was pregnant AGAIN when we moved back to the States?  Can you say fertile mertile???  Yup, that's me!  And I wouldn't have it any other way.)

Upon arrival back in the States, P got out of the Navy and we began our lives here in Central Virginia...as civilians...who deploy...so maybe not REALLY civilians but you get it. 

It is because of our time in Italy that we are where we are.  It was a priceless experience that I recommend to ANYBODY who has the opportunity!  Push yourself.  Go out of your comfort zone.  Scare yourself.  It will worth it beyond measure in the end.

And that, my friends, is our story.

Happily Ever After...

If you haven't read Part I , Part II, or Part III, check it out before reading this post. Nobody like a spoiled ending!

When I was a little girl, I never wanted to be a doctor, banker, or ballerina.  My dream was clear.  At a very young age, I knew that I wanted to be a wife and mother (of 12 to be exact).  As crazy as it sounds, I daydreamed about driving a 15 passenger van, doing the laundry, and having dinner on the table when my husband came home from work.  I have no idea where that dream came from but it is clearly written on my heart.

When P and I met all those years ago, I had found the other piece of my puzzle.  Whether you call it a gut feeling, inspiration of the Holy Spirit, or just plain intuition, I knew he was the one.   I had fought for his heart since the day we met. I refused to settle for anything less than who I knew he was created to be and I refused to let myself by tarnished by fear, temptations, and outside pressures. 

When he proposed, it was like hitting the last mile of a marathon. We were almost there. Our forever was about to begin.  We had no idea where this life was going to take us but we knew that we were up for the adventure as long as we were together.

When our big day came, we were ready.  Besides the dress, the party, and our loved ones, we were ready to be married.  We stood in awe that this was our reality.  How is it possible for two teenagers, from opposite parts of the country, to meet, keep in touch, and then eventually get married.  It was crazy! 

We had so much fun at our wedding!  We laughed, we cried, we danced, and enjoyed the company of our family and friends.  The knowledge that the dating, the distance, the phone calls, and the traveling were over was almost surreal.  At the end of the day, I was going to get in the car with P and we were going to fly out TOGETHER. 

Our happily ever after had come true.  We had a plan.  Little did we know that in the first year of our marriage we'd have a deployment, a pregnancy, and a move to Naples, Italy...not exactly what one would call the 'honeymoon' stage.

A Real Love Story...

If you are joining me for your first Common Sense Wife post, make sure to read Part I and Part II of my story.  It's pretty awesome (in my humble opinion...haha).

I still remember it vividly, my mom and I were in Washington D.C. on a college visit. 

That was where I learned to always ask for a corner hotel room...they are always bigger!  :-)

We had driven 2 hours outside of the city to check out the prospective school.  Upon arrival, I immediately knew that it wasn't right.  We didn't even get out of the car.  I asked my mom to turn around and take us back to the city.  It was there, at the hotel, that I got the phone call.

He was coming.

I jumped around our corner hotel room like a 13 year old at a backstreet boys concert!  The excitement that I experienced was unlike anything I had ever felt.  This was it.  It was finally happening!!!

Although my mom and I were close, the year had been a tough one for both of us.  She knew about P but we had never really talked about how important he was to me.  She was a little standoffish at the thought of him, a 20 year old Navy Sailor, flying in to take her only daughter to prom.  It seemed odd.  I did my best to share my excitement but knew that screaming,

"I'm going to marry this boy!!!"

might not go over well.  So, I kept my excitement contained to prom.  My parents were troopers because, at 17 years old, they allowed me to explore this relationship.  Well, April came, he flew in, and the connection was IMMEDIATE.  (Keep in mind this was only the second time we'd seen each other since meeting each other at 13 years old.)  I was in heaven. 

We got dressed up, took pictures, and off we drove in my mom's Cadillac (we're cool like that) to my prom.  Honestly, I don't remember a whole lot about prom besides thinking that I wished we would have just gone out to a nice dinner alone and realizing that this boy, the love of my life, could. NOT. dance!!!

Well, the weekend came to an end and it was at the airport that we finally discussed it.  We were officially boyfriend/girlfriend!  That determination was also followed up with something along the lines of, 'and we'll get married in a couple of years.'

Over the course of the next two years, we spent our time flying back and forth between Georgia and California and getting through a 7 month deployment.  Although my parents were not against my relationship, they couldn't quite grasp it.  When asked about it, the only way I could explain our relationship was,

"My entire life I prayed to have a friend who loved me as much as I loved them.  For someone who was just as excited to have me as I was to have them.  He does and we have so much fun.  He's my best friend."

Then, in May 2006, it happened.  On California's beautiful coast, he got down on a knee and asked me to be his wife.  As much as I loved him in that moment, I had no clue that my love would grow exponentially and of the adventure that we were about to embark on...

A Budding Friendship

Make sure you've read Part I of my husband and I's story.

If you already have, lets keep going.

After P and I met on October 29th, 1999, something inside of me was forever changed.  At the young age of 13, I knew he was the one God had planned for me.  Now, I had years of figuring out how to make it work and protecting both of our hearts enough to still see that when we were of age.

It all started so simply.  His first e-mail to me was an e-card using words like 'Howdy and ya'll' and a giant picture of a cowgirl.  I guess he was intriqued by the fact that I was from Georgia?  From that day on, our friendship just grew.  We had the same sense of humor and strange draw to each other.  We e-mailed for a few months before somehow connecting on the phone.  By this time, I had found out that he had just started 'dating' a girl.  At the time, I was so disappointed but looking back now, I am so thankful for their relationship.  Their parents were so good about teaching them the proper way to approach dating.  It was the truest definition of 'courting' I have ever watched.

Over the course of the next few years, we kept talking and talking and talking.  He became my best buddy.  I remember hanging up with him one day and thinking,

"I know why I love Paul so much!  He always makes me belly laugh!" 

We had so much fun!

This is from his visit.

Then, during the summer before my 10th grade year, I decided to attend a boarding school.  Before I left, I asked my mom and dad if he could come down to Georgia and visit.  It must have been nothing short of divine intervention, because at 15 and 17 years old, both of our parents agreed.  He rode a bus...for 25 hours just to see ME.  

That week, I recieved my first kiss.

At the movie theater watching 'America's Sweetheart's during the helicopter scene.  Not that I remember or anything.

As cheesy as this sounds, I remember being so relieved that he had gotten MY first kiss.  I didn't want it to go to just anybody...

After a few days, I got kind of tired of him because he kept trying to kiss me!  Not in any weird way but I had never even kissed a boy and I just wasn't there yet.  Anyways, by the end of his visit, I was ready for him to go and so was he (I think his mom still might hold a little grudge for that one...haha). 

I left for my boarding school, calling him every so often, but because of the harbored frustration, we kind of went our seperate ways for a bit.  After a few months, I decided to come home and go back to my normal high school.  Somewhere in there, we got back in touch, and our friendship started back up where it left off...just good buddies.

At this point, he was dating a new girl...that I wasn't particularly fond of.  I knew she threatened my goal of protecting his heart and I wasn't going to stand for it.  Over the course of the next few years, while they dated, I made sure to stay as close as possible.  I wasn't going to let this girl have influence over the man that I knew he was. 

Unfortuantely, he did start making some less than ideal decisions...nothing big, but not what I could stand by and watch, so I let him go.  I remember writing him an e-mail saying, 

"If you want me, you have to work for me.  Please don't contact me anymore, your decisions are tearing me apart.  If you decide to grow up and be the man that I know you are, please let me know." 

To this day, that was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I lost my best friend.  I thought he was gone forever.  BUT, much to my surprise, at the end of his Navy boot camp I received an phone call.

"Hi Jeanne.  It's P.  I'm calling you back."

His deep, comforting voice gave me such relief.  It was OVER.  I quickly got off the other line and we began to catch up.  Before getting off the phone, I layed it all out there for him.  I told him that I loved him and I couldn't watch him make decisions that we BOTH knew were not good.  If he wanted me as a friend, he had to be who I knew that he was.  I wasn't going to let him settle for what was comfortable.  We agreed and we were back on track.  PHEW!

At that point, I was a junior in high school.  I had dated a few boys, here and there, but nothing serious.  Nobody could make me laugh like he could.

Although he was still dating his girlfriend, he started saying things that just didn't line up.  For instance, I told him that he would be one of my future kids' Godfather.  He got VERY upset with me and told me that he 'better be the father'.  WHAT!?!?!

Prom

He had a girlfriend!  He was so upset about this conversation that he even called his mother.  Whatever.

Well, my senior year was a particularly rough year.  By the time prom came around, I really wasn't interested in going solo.  One night, I kind of dropped a hint that I wanted him to go with me but it ended there.  About a week later, he called me to say that he and girlfriend had broken up and he was coming for prom.

I can't even tell you the excitement that ran through my veins!  I knew that it was the start of something good...

How It All Began...

As most of you know, Saturday was the 12 year mark from the day I met my husband, P.  Unlike most people, we didn't meet at school, work, or through friends.  Our story is beyond unique.  It's actually kind of crazy.  I often find myself thinking about how crazy it is that we ever even met.  If it weren't for that split second on October 29, 1999, I don't think we would have ever had the opportunity again.

Thanks to my incredibly (verging on obnoxious) outgoing 13 year old personality, P and I met one weekend at the Youth and Family Encounter (a church conference) in Atlanta.  I had convinced my girlfriends to skip a talk so we could just roam (and secretly search for boys).  After walking for a while, we were about to cave in and just go into the youth track.  Thats when I spotted them.  A group of boys around our age.  Being that I was the 'outgoing' one, I had no problem walking up to them.  Instead of walking up and introducing myself like a normal human being, for some reason I thought it would be cool to walk up and say,

"Hi!  My name is Jeanne.  I'm weird and abnormal, but it a good way!"

WHAT!?!?!?

 

I've never actually admitted that I said that but there it is...on paper!  To this day, that is still one of those things I am completely embarrassed about. 

ANYWAYS, it must have worked because the boys walked over with me and met my friends.  I remember 3 boys (Ed, John, and P).  They told us that they were from New England (Mass. and New Hampshire) and that they had driven down on a bus with a boys group.  They then proceeded to tell us that, the night before, they had gotten kicked out of a Marriott for dropping a bouncy ball from the top floor into the atrium.  I guess they wanted to see how far up it would bounce.  Instead of getting moved to some crappy hotel, are you ready for this?, their group leader moved them to the RITZ CARLTON in downtown Atlanta.

Just an FYI: the cheapest room costs around $300 a night...and they were staying for 5!

For the next two days, we (or maybe just I) spent my time hanging around these boys.  We sat next to them at the talks, during Mass, and we even got permission from our parents to walk across the street for lunch!  That lunch marked the end of the weekend. 

As my friends and I were piling in the backseat of my parents car, on halloween afternoon, we exchanged e-mail addresses.  I remember looking down at the paper and seeing P's address: madlyskilled@-----.com.  REALLY?  How dumb!

Within minutes of getting home, before we dressed up as 'Army Chicks', I made sure to hop on my e-mail and shoot him an e-mail.  That night, at 13 years old, I told my best friend, Toni, that I had this weird feeling that I was going to marry that boy.  We giggled about it and then ran off to enjoy our last halloween trick-or-treating.

So, there you have it.  Embarrassing details and all.  Next week I'll continue the crazy story that somehow leads to today...