What's the Big Deal?

When I began announcing my second pregnancy, my husband and I were SHOCKED by the amount of feedback we got.  80% of the comments were along the lines of,

"Wow, that was fast!  Don't you know where babies come from?"

or

"You're brave!"

I was shocked.  There I was, a happy-go-lucky mother to one 6 month old baby and people were calling me brave for having another one???  I didn't get it.

THEN, when we became pregnant with mini-C just 9 months after having little-C, the reaction was even GREATER!  I somewhat expected the reaction this time but a few of the reactions still stung.  At one point, after having mini-C, I took all three children to the grocery store.  They were behaving perfectly and a random man had the nerve to come have this conversation with me.

Him: Are they ALL yours?

Me: They sure are!

Him: Well, you sure have your hands full!

Me: Oh, we have fun with it!

(Pause) 

Him: Ya'll should really look into cable TV!

Me: (Completely clueless) We already have cable TV.

Him: Then change the channel!  You're obviously bored!

I. Was. Stunned.

What do you say to something like that?

This whole deal with children just got me thinking.  As the Duggars announce the pregnancy of their 20th child, I can't help but feel bad for them in the backlash that will head their way.  Why do people care so much?  How does somebody else having children affect you?

I'll say this, I understand if I am supporting my children through tax dollars...I get that.  But, I'm not and they are not.  I don't think people can really argue with the fact that the Duggar kids are some of the most well-behaved children out there.  Whether they have been too sheltered is something that they will have to deal with...not me or you.

 As mothers, we all have those overwhelming moments when we look at our husbands and say, 'you touch me; you die!'  And you know what?  Thats okay!  But, I think the most of us would be devestated if we were unable to have any more children, whether we were planning to or not.  I try and keep the flip side in my head regularly so I remember to value my fertility.  It is not something that should be used to complete a 'dream family' casting list.  Rather, these are individual little people who need me in order to fulfill their purpose just as I need them to fulfill mine.

I do not know how many children we will have.  If all goes as we would have it, there will be more.  How many?  We'll have to wait and see.  We'll take it one pregnancy at a time.

For now, I just need to come up with a witty response for all of these crazy people!  Any thoughts?

A Budding Friendship

Make sure you've read Part I of my husband and I's story.

If you already have, lets keep going.

After P and I met on October 29th, 1999, something inside of me was forever changed.  At the young age of 13, I knew he was the one God had planned for me.  Now, I had years of figuring out how to make it work and protecting both of our hearts enough to still see that when we were of age.

It all started so simply.  His first e-mail to me was an e-card using words like 'Howdy and ya'll' and a giant picture of a cowgirl.  I guess he was intriqued by the fact that I was from Georgia?  From that day on, our friendship just grew.  We had the same sense of humor and strange draw to each other.  We e-mailed for a few months before somehow connecting on the phone.  By this time, I had found out that he had just started 'dating' a girl.  At the time, I was so disappointed but looking back now, I am so thankful for their relationship.  Their parents were so good about teaching them the proper way to approach dating.  It was the truest definition of 'courting' I have ever watched.

Over the course of the next few years, we kept talking and talking and talking.  He became my best buddy.  I remember hanging up with him one day and thinking,

"I know why I love Paul so much!  He always makes me belly laugh!" 

We had so much fun!

This is from his visit.

Then, during the summer before my 10th grade year, I decided to attend a boarding school.  Before I left, I asked my mom and dad if he could come down to Georgia and visit.  It must have been nothing short of divine intervention, because at 15 and 17 years old, both of our parents agreed.  He rode a bus...for 25 hours just to see ME.  

That week, I recieved my first kiss.

At the movie theater watching 'America's Sweetheart's during the helicopter scene.  Not that I remember or anything.

As cheesy as this sounds, I remember being so relieved that he had gotten MY first kiss.  I didn't want it to go to just anybody...

After a few days, I got kind of tired of him because he kept trying to kiss me!  Not in any weird way but I had never even kissed a boy and I just wasn't there yet.  Anyways, by the end of his visit, I was ready for him to go and so was he (I think his mom still might hold a little grudge for that one...haha). 

I left for my boarding school, calling him every so often, but because of the harbored frustration, we kind of went our seperate ways for a bit.  After a few months, I decided to come home and go back to my normal high school.  Somewhere in there, we got back in touch, and our friendship started back up where it left off...just good buddies.

At this point, he was dating a new girl...that I wasn't particularly fond of.  I knew she threatened my goal of protecting his heart and I wasn't going to stand for it.  Over the course of the next few years, while they dated, I made sure to stay as close as possible.  I wasn't going to let this girl have influence over the man that I knew he was. 

Unfortuantely, he did start making some less than ideal decisions...nothing big, but not what I could stand by and watch, so I let him go.  I remember writing him an e-mail saying, 

"If you want me, you have to work for me.  Please don't contact me anymore, your decisions are tearing me apart.  If you decide to grow up and be the man that I know you are, please let me know." 

To this day, that was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I lost my best friend.  I thought he was gone forever.  BUT, much to my surprise, at the end of his Navy boot camp I received an phone call.

"Hi Jeanne.  It's P.  I'm calling you back."

His deep, comforting voice gave me such relief.  It was OVER.  I quickly got off the other line and we began to catch up.  Before getting off the phone, I layed it all out there for him.  I told him that I loved him and I couldn't watch him make decisions that we BOTH knew were not good.  If he wanted me as a friend, he had to be who I knew that he was.  I wasn't going to let him settle for what was comfortable.  We agreed and we were back on track.  PHEW!

At that point, I was a junior in high school.  I had dated a few boys, here and there, but nothing serious.  Nobody could make me laugh like he could.

Although he was still dating his girlfriend, he started saying things that just didn't line up.  For instance, I told him that he would be one of my future kids' Godfather.  He got VERY upset with me and told me that he 'better be the father'.  WHAT!?!?!

Prom

He had a girlfriend!  He was so upset about this conversation that he even called his mother.  Whatever.

Well, my senior year was a particularly rough year.  By the time prom came around, I really wasn't interested in going solo.  One night, I kind of dropped a hint that I wanted him to go with me but it ended there.  About a week later, he called me to say that he and girlfriend had broken up and he was coming for prom.

I can't even tell you the excitement that ran through my veins!  I knew that it was the start of something good...

What a Ham!

Mini C is almost 11 months old and, boy-oh-boy, does she have a personality!

I was going through Little C's box of 18 month clothing today and found one of my favorite outfits!  Naturally, I put it on mini-C IMMEDIATELY.  She looked so cute!

Anyways, I was trying to get a cute picture and I got an entire photo shoot.  Enjoy!

I'm A 'Can-Do' Grill...I mean Girl!

So, I have been wanting to get my husband a new grill for A LONG TIME! 

I bought the one he has for $75.00 as a 'Welcome Home from Deployment' gift about 5 years ago.  He loved it!  In those 5 years, it has gone from being a pretty good grill to, well, catching on fire every time you turn it on!

Old Grill:

Well, since my husband is out of town, I wanted to surprise him with a new one when he got home!  So, I've been doing my research on grills.  I've looked high and low trying to find the best one for the amount of money I wanted to spend (no more than $350).  I found a few that I was interested in but for some reason my gut kept telling me to hold off...so I did.

Well, the other night, I made up my mind that I was just going to go on Lowes.com and buy one and be DONE.  I hopped on, typed in 'Gas Grill' and was shocked when I saw a $500 grill that I had previously looked at, envied, and moved on marked down to...

....are you ready???

$82.00!!!

Can you believe that???  Needless to say, I bought that baby so fast that I could barely type in the numbers from my debit card.  As soon as I pressed 'complete order', I put my kids in the car and flew up to the store hoping that I'd get there, pick up the grill, and leave before they realized that something had gone wrong.

Well, I picked it up.  The guy who put it in my car told me that he wasn't sure what happened but it was still clearly listed for $499.99 inside the store.  And off I drove.

(Making sure not to look in my mirrors just in case someone was running behind me trying to stop me.)

Well, on Saturday morning, still on a complete high from my 'steal', I excitedly opened the back of my van.  Wow, thats a big box!  Mini C was sleeping and the other two were playing nicely so I decided to shimmy it out of the van and get to putting it together.

Surely it would only take an hour or two to put together!

I opened the box and took everything out.  And it just kept coming and coming and coming.  At this point, I got a little worried.

Do you like my shadow?

I decided to just jump right in, hope for the best, but know that I could always throw it all back in the box and wait for P if it was necessary.

So, off I went with my pink handled screw driver.  Step 1.  Step 2.  Step 3....Step 27.  Four hours.

 

DONE!

I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of myself.  I'm not sure why, because it wasn't hard.  I think its just the idea that I can do whatever I want to do.  I am not limited to my day-to-day.  It just really got me thinking about other things that I've been wanting to try and I that I should just TRY. 

My kids are always watching me.  They see most things that I do.  If I constantly play in my comfort zone, they will also remain in their comfort zone.  This little example just reminded me of how important it is to constantly push my limits and show my kids how fun it is to accomplish something new and unusual. 

Decorating is Just Not My Thing

So, I have to be honest.  When I was a little girl, I thought that once I was married and had my own house, I would just naturally have this ability to decorate.  Curtains, rugs, furniture, lamps...ALL OF IT!

Well, unfortunately, my little bubble has been POPPED! 

This is my living room

(plus tan paint)

Now, before you tell me how GENIUS I am in the decorating department (sarcasm), let me tell you something.  Those lamps, those amazingly, beautiful, and unique (again, sarcasm) lamps, yes, they don't work.  Now, to rock your mind a little more...the lamp shades, yea, they are barely balancing on the cross bar.  They are not even properly attached, unless you consider zip-ties proper. 

So, here's my thing.  I need new lamps (one table and one floor) and I need curtains.  Those windows are still completely bare, besides the shades that came with the house.  The problem is that I. STINK. AT. DECORATING! 

I don't even have an idea in my head!  I walk into a store and I go blank (remember my A.D.D. post).  Oh, and I can't spend a ton of money.  Who am I joking, why WOULD I spend a ton of money when I have a 1, 2, and 3 year old to mess them up?!? 

So, do you have any brilliant ideas for me?!?  Suggestions?  Help?!!

My Ode to Phil and Teds

When I found out I was pregnant with little C, I knew I'd be shopping for a new stroller.  At the time, we were living in Naples, Italy and had quickly learned that those strollers with the plastic wheels were not going to cut it.

After much investigation, I found the Phil and Teds stroller.

What I loved about it:

1) It has actual tires!  This comes in handy in so many ways.  First, it makes walks on cobblestone MUCH more comfortable.  Secondly, you can take it off road and it's easy to run with!

2) It is the size of a one seater.  While I was investigating, I tried out all of the inline double strollers.  They. Were. HUGE!!!  I wanted something that would maneuver easily and didn't take up half the aisle at the grocery store, in width or length.

3) The second seat is detachable!  I only own one stroller.  I don't have an umbrella stroller because all I have to do is take off the back seat and I'm back to a basic one seater...awesome!

4) It's turning radius is AMAZING.

5) Its storage is huge and I love it!

6) There are 7 ways to arrange the stroller so it works for you!

7) It's durable.  These days, the ultimate durability test for a stroller is traveling.  Those airplane luggage guys have an AMAZING way of breaking strollers.  Living in Italy, we traveled A LOT!  Our stroller never even suffered a tear!  THAT is success!

8) When you have #3, they have a built in handle bar (the back of the backseat).  Maybe this sounds dumb, but it really is an awesome help when you are trying to get in and out of the mall without any meltdowns.  My son can push the stroller himself (it's that easy to push).

I have more reasons but these are my main ones.  Now, to address the question in every body's head: money.  This stroller is expensive.  If you just walk into a store, it will probably cost you $400-$650.  I cannot afford that.  BUT, if you start watching craigslist, eBay, and sales, you are SURE to get a deal.  I have two friends who bought 'like brand new' Phil and Teds for $200.  I bought mine, brand new, from a website (with a few extra options) for $350, shipped.

When it comes to the spending that kind of money on a stroller, you have to think long and hard.  My husband and I discussed the purchase and what we decided was that we spend enough time using a stroller that it was important to make sure it was easy to use, comfortable for the kids, and what we need.  If I am still going to have two other strollers in the back of my van, then I'm not dropping that kind of money.  We decided that taking multiple children out is stressful on its own, the last thing I need to do is add MORE stress with a frustrating and not functional-for-me stroller.

So, long story short, if you have two stroller riding aged children, look into the Phil and Teds.  I LOVE it and everybody I know who has one LOVES it.  Don't be intimidated by the price.  Just set your realistic budget, be persistent, and FIND YOUR DEAL!

Have a great day!

How It All Began...

As most of you know, Saturday was the 12 year mark from the day I met my husband, P.  Unlike most people, we didn't meet at school, work, or through friends.  Our story is beyond unique.  It's actually kind of crazy.  I often find myself thinking about how crazy it is that we ever even met.  If it weren't for that split second on October 29, 1999, I don't think we would have ever had the opportunity again.

Thanks to my incredibly (verging on obnoxious) outgoing 13 year old personality, P and I met one weekend at the Youth and Family Encounter (a church conference) in Atlanta.  I had convinced my girlfriends to skip a talk so we could just roam (and secretly search for boys).  After walking for a while, we were about to cave in and just go into the youth track.  Thats when I spotted them.  A group of boys around our age.  Being that I was the 'outgoing' one, I had no problem walking up to them.  Instead of walking up and introducing myself like a normal human being, for some reason I thought it would be cool to walk up and say,

"Hi!  My name is Jeanne.  I'm weird and abnormal, but it a good way!"

WHAT!?!?!?

 

I've never actually admitted that I said that but there it is...on paper!  To this day, that is still one of those things I am completely embarrassed about. 

ANYWAYS, it must have worked because the boys walked over with me and met my friends.  I remember 3 boys (Ed, John, and P).  They told us that they were from New England (Mass. and New Hampshire) and that they had driven down on a bus with a boys group.  They then proceeded to tell us that, the night before, they had gotten kicked out of a Marriott for dropping a bouncy ball from the top floor into the atrium.  I guess they wanted to see how far up it would bounce.  Instead of getting moved to some crappy hotel, are you ready for this?, their group leader moved them to the RITZ CARLTON in downtown Atlanta.

Just an FYI: the cheapest room costs around $300 a night...and they were staying for 5!

For the next two days, we (or maybe just I) spent my time hanging around these boys.  We sat next to them at the talks, during Mass, and we even got permission from our parents to walk across the street for lunch!  That lunch marked the end of the weekend. 

As my friends and I were piling in the backseat of my parents car, on halloween afternoon, we exchanged e-mail addresses.  I remember looking down at the paper and seeing P's address: madlyskilled@-----.com.  REALLY?  How dumb!

Within minutes of getting home, before we dressed up as 'Army Chicks', I made sure to hop on my e-mail and shoot him an e-mail.  That night, at 13 years old, I told my best friend, Toni, that I had this weird feeling that I was going to marry that boy.  We giggled about it and then ran off to enjoy our last halloween trick-or-treating.

So, there you have it.  Embarrassing details and all.  Next week I'll continue the crazy story that somehow leads to today...